Celibacy is having a moment, particularly among Gen Z women.
Part of its visibility comes from the term “boy sober,” coined on TikTok by a woman named Hope Woodard. In one video, she outlined the rules: No dating apps, no dating, no situationships, no “xoxoxo.”
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In interviews as the whole “boy sober” thing blew up, Woodard explained that the idea was for women to take the time to focus on themselves—distraction-free—and reflect on their dating lifestyle. Essentially, it is for young women to reclaim their bodily and sexual autonomy.
The hashtag #celibacyjourney has nearly 40 million views on TikTok. But is the celibacy and abstinence part just memes, or actually something young women are consciously choosing?
Today, a new survey conducted by the dating app BLK found that 64 percent of Black Gen Z women say they are “currently practicing celibacy.”
“What we’re seeing with Black Gen Z singles is more than just a dating trend—it’s a movement towards personal empowerment and emotional well-being,” said Jonathan Kirkland, the app’s head of brand and marketing, in a story on Essence.
The numbers in the BLK survey speak to that: 61 percent of respondents said they were celibate for personal growth or self-discovery, and 66 percent said that their mental and emotional well-being had improved due to celibacy. Interestingly, 87 percent said celibacy had positively impacted their dating life or at least had a neutral effect.
Bumble, another dating app, tried to take the opposite tact earlier this year with billboards reading, “A vow of celibacy is not the answer.” They ended up removing the ads and apologizing amid the backlash.
Other surveys suggest that short-term flings and one-night stands are taking a back seat. In 2022, a survey by the popular sex toy retailer Lovehoney and the Kinsey Institute found that 1 in 4 Gen Z adults said they “have yet to have partnered sex.” Meanwhile, this spring, the CDC said sexual activity among teens is decreasing year over year.