How To Run a British Club Night That Doesn't Suck

The last five years have bred a new generation of weekend warriors; an intelligent, discerning batch of clubbers bound by the love of catching the sunlight after pounding a dance floor. So many club nights have become brands in themselves; parties that in five or so years are collaborating with music festivals, and setting up record labels in equal measure. One example is Dollop, started in Nottingham seven years ago. It has since moved down to London, and has a reputation for hosting one of the biggest New Years Eve parties in the capital. Relocating South isn't even crucial. In Liverpool, Abandon Silence became responsible for bringing some of the most important names in electronic music to the city - and they're now playing the Bugged Out! Weekender main stage.

Club promotion in 2014 is like the rise of  Eton Messy, whose blend of music and aesthetics led them out of the internet and onto boat parties in Croatia. IRL, putting on sell out parties seems like the funnest job in the world. Speaking to the promoters behind some of the country's most popular nights is a lesson in the Do's and Dont's of running a decent club night in 2014.

It's definitely not as easy as it looks, but somehow an honest love of music has made these guys the Jay Gatsby's of the parties we mould our weekend's round. They've managed to tap into what sells and balance it with an eye watering dedication, quitting day jobs and facing bankruptcy to become the bastions of club promotion. What's more, they're all saying the same thing. Don't bullshit people, don't bullshit yourself, and stay original. The chaps behind Juicy, Seedy Sonics and Vitamins elaborate.

IF SOMEONE'S ALREADY DONE IT, DON'T DO IT

This is might sound basic, but you're fucked at the first hurdle if you're trying to use somebody else's club night as a model. Using original ideas and running with them is key. When Liam Roberts and his friends realised Birmingham wasn't delivering, they took matters into their own hands. "The motivation was to start a night which catered to all styles of underground dance music. That was lacking in Birmingham, whereas cities like Leeds, London and Bristol had that variety under one roof".

Their night Seedy Sonics has grown from one room raves to regular warehouse parties, spilling out into marquees and outdoor stages for their annual street party. I'm biased in rating Seedy Sonics, though. Their early nights coincided with a rapidly rising interest in electronic music, and subsequent near failure of my second year of university. It was the night you'd take friends who wanted a hassle free night out - where you could watch DJs play to full rooms without facing the argy bargy of a three hour queue, or aggy bouncers. Watching the night go from a couple of reasonably busy rooms to what seemed like festival size proportions in the space of year defined many early clubbing experiences, and remains one of the most popular electronic nights in Birmingham.

GET READY TO SHIT YOURSELF…

…When it's midnight and the venue is still empty. There's apparently no solace in the hours after the tickets go off sale, when sitting tight and waiting is all a hardy promoter can do to keep from having a nervous breakdown. Whilst you're faffing about what colour disco pants to wear, or who's in charge of ordering a cab, Nic Tasker is pacing the streets tearing his hair out.

Tasker, part of the Boiler Room team and founder of club night Principals remembers "that moment at every party, when at midnight, you're worried if anybody's going to turn up at all. I used to walk the streets for half an hour and then come back, and hopefully there'd be some people there". Speaking at an event named Making Events Work, Tasker is open about the his early dry runs of organising parties - his involvement in Boiler Room and Principals came via putting on bad music to empty venues.

MONEY SHOULDN'T DRIVE YOU

Don't go in expecting to become the next big thing, because it won't happen if your reason for starting up is the prospect of big bucks. Having your foot repeatedly crushed for six hours can mean two things: you're dancing with the wrong person, or a booker's been greedy and has oversold the venue. Oscar Wildstyle, resident and founder of Manchester hip-hop night Juicy, is firm in his advice to career climbers: "If you want to make money, go and join an investment firm. You should only become a club promoter because you want to put on great parties".

Wildstyle and his co-founder Wiggie Smalls started Juicy as the opposite of the "mainly underground" hip-hop nights that were running in Manchester, and have now brought the party down to Liverpool and London. Their attitude to clubbing is unfussy, rarely booking big name DJs or charging more than a fiver for entry. "Don't rip your punters off and be realistic. You're not going to make £10,000 profit on your first night. Concentrate on making people really enjoy themselves and getting a name for yourselves, the money comes later on".

KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE

Tapping into a crowd you know are already about and interested, is infinitely better than reaching out to an audience who might not be bothered. If there's a group you think will be interested in what you've got to offer, cater to them. Nic Tasker elaborates: "A crowd makes a party. If you can build yourself around a scene of people, or a community, if you know that's there …even if it's just you and your friends, that's what makes a good party, not the DJs you book".

Build your brand from the ground up, starting with customers you know will enjoy themselves so much that they come back the next time  - with buddies in tow. My one and only dalliance with club promotion began and ended in trying to hand Jamie xx a flyer for my friend's first night. He looked embarrassed and, unsurprisingly, didn't show up. I subsequently never offered my services again, and quietly learning my lesson about who to try and rope into your first club night.

TAKE PROMOTION SERIOUSLY

There's more to selling your party than being that irritating wanker who arrogantly (or even worse, apologetically) throws flyers at people leaving clubs. We've all been there: at 7a,, rifling through a fresh Don't Panic pack, looking for some of that illusive free gum. The flyers that don't end up on the floor of the night bus or used as roach card are the ones that will catch the begraddled clubbers eye. Vitamins go all in on creative marketing, with each flyer different from the last. "We wanted to keep things interesting and looked for new methods of getting the word out" says Sam.

"Sometimes conventional promotion - flyers with a stock photo of the DJs and a bit of text - gets tired and uninspiring. We try our best to have consistency from start to finish. Say if there's a design on the poster, it might tie in with the eventual lighting, production or visuals during the show. We try and come up with an overall plan, and see it through from start to finish". It's more than just taping up lamp posts and electricity boxes, too. Vitamins are a friendly bunch, and encourage physical PR: "getting out there and talking to people is important. Keep them up to date with what you're doing. If you are genuinely excited about what you are, then that should shine through and hopefully trickle down. "

STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF

This tip is the grand finale, the "get your tissues out and hold hands" piece of emotional advice. Staying true to yourself united every member of THUMP's executive party-hosting panel - despite owing people swathes of money, quitting university and in one case, having a house burn down. The reason you're doing this is because you love it. If you stop loving it, stop doing it. "Stick with it and try not to do something for the sake of it", says Sam from Vitamins. "Don't take things too seriously, because that attitude will filter down". If there's anything clubbers don't want to see, it's promoters who look even the slightest unenthusiastic. Stay passionate, stick it out - and enjoy.

You can follow Tamara Roper here: @tamararoper