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Cry-Baby of the Week: Someone Cut a Woman's Brake Line Because She Took Their Parking Space

Also this week: A woman allegedly threatened to blow up her daughter's school because she failed an exam.

It's time, once again, to marvel at some idiots who don't know how to handle the world:

Cry-Baby #1: An unknown person in Chicago

Photos via Wikimedia Commons and Google Maps

The incident: A woman parked in someone else's spot.

The appropriate response: Leaving a passive-aggressive note.

The actual response: Someone cut her brake line.

For those of you who don't live in snowy areas: Some places have an unofficial system for reserving parking spots after a heavy snowfall. If you shovel the snow out of a parking space, you have dibs on that spot and are able to reserve it with a chair when you're not using it.


Last week, despite being aware of this system, an unnamed Chicago woman decided to move a white plastic chair from a parking spot and put her car in it. "I understand that people have to put a lot of work into it," she told ABC7. "But I had to shovel my own car out of the snow when we had the big storm and I wasn't selfish enough to claim a spot that wasn't mine." Which is a defense I'm having a little trouble wrapping my head around.

The next morning, when the woman drove off in her car, she noticed that the brakes weren't working properly. "I literally had to put all my weight on the brake pedal," she said.

She took the car to a mechanic, where she was informed her brake line had been cut. Repairing it cost her $225. "It honestly is attempted murder," she said.

She is hoping a security camera at a nearby school will help catch the culprit.

Cry-Baby #2: Karen Shearon

Screencaps via SI Live and Google Maps

The incident: A girl failed an exam.

The appropriate response: Trying harder in the future, and maybe even using the failure as inspiration for future achievements, a la the (apocryphal) story about Michael Jordan being cut from his high school team and then using that snub as fuel on his way to becoming His Airness, winning several NBA Championships, etc. etc.

The actual response: Her mom allegedly threatened to blow up her school.

Earlier this month, 48-year-old Karen Shearon received a call from the guidance counselor at Susan Wagner High School in Staten Island, to tell her that her daughter had failed an exam.


The exact details of the call are not entirely clear, but, according to the guidance counselor, Shearon told her that she was going to "blow up the school."

Now, if Karen did really say she was going to blow up the school, she almost certainly didn't actually intend to do it. But, much like making jokes about guns in airports or telling a woman which celebrity you think she looks like, making threats involving death and schools is a thing you should never ever do under any circumstances ever.

The school contacted police, who arrested Karen and charged her with misdemeanor aggravated harassment in the second degree.

Karen appeared in court last Friday where she pled not guilty. "I never made such a a phone call," she reportedly said.

She was released on $1,000 bond. As she left the court, she hid her face and told the assembled reporters to "get outta here."

Which of these guys is the bigger cry-baby? Let us know in this poll down here:

Previously: A guy threw a cat out of a window because it peed on him and a school allegedly suspended a kid for threatening to use the ring from the Hobbit to make someone disappear.

Winner: The Hobbit ring school!!! Follow Jamie Lee Curtis Taete on Twitter.