When Casper steals the 40 from the bodega, Telly distracts the shop owner by complaining about how dirty the store's floors are rather than the gibberish routine from the original.
Casper's famous monologue about virgins has been transformed into a dialogue with Telly. They complain that virgins don't know how to fuck while the girl Telly deflowers in the beginning of the movie walks by in the background and overhears them. Later she runs into them again and screams at the top of her lungs about Telly having a small dick.
Instead of talking about how they like to be fucked, Ruby and the girls complain about the price of condoms and birth control.
In the flophouse scene where all the kids are doing whippits, one of them stops and freaks out because he realizes it's Shabbas.
During the scene at the pool one of the skater dudes becomes embarrassed because his boxers are covered with a Santa Claus-and-reindeer print. In the background, Telly warns everyone of the dangers of swimming in an underchlorinated pool and mentions that he "feels an ear infection coming on."
Ruby complains about the cost of the STD test to the nurse after her results come back negative.
The guy who is beaten up by the mob of skaters in the park is sent a dry-cleaning bill by Casper because some blood splattered on his favorite jeans.
Instead of giving Jennie a roofie (or whatever it was supposed to be) at the rave, Fidget (still played by Korine in this remake) hands her "a euphoric anti-shit drug that makes Imodium look like Pepto."
When Casper rapes Jennie toward the end, she suddenly awakes and asks, "What the hell do you think you're doing? Raping me?" Thirty seconds later he's still on top of her so she shouts, "You're STILL raping me? Come on buddy, get it over with already. My neck's starting to hurt!"
Seth Rogen will be playing Telly. Harold Hunter's character will be played by Shia LeBouf.
FYI.
This story is over 5 years old.
Holy shit guys, have you heard the news? The latest issue of Tokion reports that Larry David is remaking Kids! You'd think this development might be worthy of a cover story, but the editors over there, sneaky harbingers of youth culture that they are, only thought it deserved a passing mention in a review of Harmony Korine's new zine compilation. We just had to know more, so we contacted Larry's agent, the illustrious Ari Emanuel, to see if we could pry a few juicy morsels about the remake out of him. Lucky for you, he graciously obliged. Keep reading to get the scoop on what's sure to be this year's most talked-about blockbuster.
