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SNOW PENIS ENVY

While bankers took London's recent snow as a chance to have fucking snow fights (nice one guys, you've certainly earned the right to take your eye off the ball for a mo), school kids, students, artists, the demented, lewd aristocrats, douche-bags, mad barren dames, playful Freudians, childish punks, street photographers, men-child publicans and closeted gay men used the snow to build big white dicks. This page is full of cocks.

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This one was built by Jonnie Craig and it kicks the shit out of all of the others. It's 6ft tall, anatomically accurate, and has a wry sense of self-knowledge about it.

This was constructed by some school kids in Tuffnell Park. To be honest, it's a little seedy. I guess the penis is still an unused embarrassment for these sculptors.

We got it from Noodles and Broth. Ugly,ugly cock this one. Nasty and thin like Fu Manchu's fingers. Still, at least it's tall and you can tell these grown-men are enthusiastic about their work.

ANDREW DIGEST