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FORTAROCK METAL HEADS

Honestly, metal is a pretty campy genre, what with its obnoxious imagery, lyrics, themes, and gimmicks. On the other hand, a true metal head really doesn't give a shit about anything except getting really drunk and talking much louder than is necessary. We went to the Fortarock Metal Festival in the Netherlands to find out more about the typical metal fest patron.

Bennie (or Chis, we're not quite sure)
Age: 41
Occupation: Foreman for a construction company

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Why are you here?
Because of the nice atmosphere and Suicidal Tendencies.

What do your colleagues think of your taste in music?
They think its alright, even though the company I work for is almost all Christians. As long as I'm honest and work hard there's no problem. By the way, what's this interview for?

For a gay magazine.
Well, haha. Great. I've got a question for you--if my balls were up your nose where would my dick be?

Euhm…can we take your picture?
Yeah sure.

Claudia
Age: Too old to be here
Occupation: Nurse

Hi, how are you doing?
Great, this is a great festival!

Do you attend festivals often?
Well, we won't be going back to the Graspop Metal Meeting in Belgium. Ever! The cops made us clear out our van once. All cops are bastards!

Do you ever wear metal shirts?
Yeah, but not to work.

Why not?
The elderly people don't really like my Slayer shirt, you know?

Tijmen Pap
Age: 44
Occupation: Chicken slaughter house worker guy

Having a good time?
Well, I just blacked out a moment ago. I think I was asleep for about an hour.

You're feeling alright again, then?
Yes, metal cures all diseases. It's also good for dealing with personal aggression.

When and where did you get into metal?
When I heard Metallica on Dutch radio, ages ago.

Laurens
Age: 19
Occupation: Computer system administrator

I like your jacket.
Thank you!

What was the first patch you sewed on it?
This one up front, the wolf in the pentagram.

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Why don't you have long hair?
Oh man, that just itches.

Why are you here?
For friendship and Behemoth.

Rein and Iks
Age: 10/12
Occupation: Loafers

Hey there little guys. Do you like it here, among the long haired, angry, corpse painted freaks?
Yes, we could have stayed at Grandmom and Granddad's, but we wanted to come along with mom and dad.

What do your classmates think of you being out here?
They don't get it. But we like it here. Live music is better than listening to a CD.

What bands do you like?
Slipknot and Rammstein.

How about you, Iks?
Slipknot and Rammstein.

And when your mom and dad are shitfaced later on tonight, you'll be driving the car home?
We're on our bicycles.

Albert
Age: 45
Occupation: Public servant

Please don't take this personally, but you don't really look like a metal head.
I'm a public servant.

Why'd you come to this thing?
For Watain, they are insanely good.

They're the assholes who threw an entire bucket of blood over the crowd, right?
Yeah, but I don't care about that. Or even the lyrics, really, I can't understand them anyway.

ILJA VAAGS AND JOOST KOSKAMP