Hold My Lube: Lovehoney’s Sex Toys Are up to 50% Off for V-Day

One thing we will never be is a Valentine’s Day Grinch. Who cares if you’re single, partnered-up, or committed to a parasocial-sexual relationship with the Kool-Aid Man? Life is too short to be pissy about a day that hypes chocolate, red wine, and thong bouquets. Doesn’t baby want a pyramid of Ferrero Rocher? Don’t you want the dildo deals to flow freely?? Of course you do, my little Pagan goat. That’s why the Lovehoney Valentine’s Day sale has (already) landed to help you live more deliciously. 

The sexual wellness retailer is offering up to 50% off gifts for couples, solo play presents, lingerie, and some of its bestselling sex toys for V-Day, from the viral rose clitoral vibrator to the Founding Father of pre-internet sex toys, the Magic Wand. We know you’re busy—that sock won’t lube itself, king—so we’ve lined up our favorite finds from the sale, whether you’re exxxtra horny for V-Day or just an agnostically randy worm.       

… Would not suck on your clit?? Maybe you’ve seen the viral rose clitoral vibrator on TikTok, maybe you haven’t. Either way, it’s the kind of toy that was tailor-made for V-Day, whether you’re shopping for yourself or a partner, because it’s 1) actually fun in design, 2) sends pleasurable, pulsating vibrations onto your nethers and nipples, and 3) is the perfect travel-sized sex toy for you and the missus to take to the Margaritaville resort. Cop it while it’s 50% off.

Ever since the Magic Wand dropped in 1968 as a powerful orgasm machine all-around body massager, it has become the stuff of sex toy lore. If you want a Fast and Furious external clitoral vibrator with a rumbling motor and wide tip, you just can’t one-up the OG. (And it actually is a great all-around body massager; the long handle makes it easy to use as a back massager.) Discover the (now cordless) legend yourself while it’s 20% off.  

Why not treat your anus, or the anus of someone you love, to a bejeweled butt plug? This bestseller is 50% off for V-Day, and so much better than corny Valentine’s Day jewelry. Plus, one reviewer writes that the packaging real nice; “Inside the box, the butt plug is wrapped securely in some padding,” they write, “and it has its own soft black storage bag, with pink drawstrings.” 

“... One bondage kit to bind them; One bondage kit to lube them all, and in the darkness bind them.” You heard what the wizard said. This eight-piece [kink-shrieks in Nazgul] bondage kit is 30% off and a great way to get your toes wet with BDSM by bringing some introductory kink staples into the mix. Fasten down and blindfold your boo, blast the Kenny G, and tickle them with a flogger; massage a finger vibrator around their perineum, slide on the adjustable cock ring, and squeeze the no-clamp nipple clamps (they’re suction; like a horny rimowa) onto their tatas. 

The world is your oyster, and Lovehoney just wants to help you dick it down this V-Day. 

Shop the entire Lovehoney Valentine’s Day sale here.

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.