These Next-Level Gifts Are for True Food Freaks Only

If you’re a reader of MUNCHIES and gustatory enthusiast—we don’t use that f-word here—there’s a decent chance your friends are, too. And while we’re sure that you’re a trailblazer within your community, you probably have at least one friend who’s always been a superior cook to you. She was drinking Fernet and using a microplane since birth, or he doesn’t even flinch when you promise you’ve found the spiciest Thai spot in the Tri-State Area—he already knows of a spicier one that’s a way tinier hole-in-the-wall; duh. Their spice cabinets are fully stocked, their restaurant merch collection is vast, and their kitchen is unquestionably decked out.

For these friends, you need to pull out the big guns and get them a gift so weird, so utterly unique, that only a true freak food connoisseur would appreciate it. Naturally, we’ve got you covered, with the best gifts for your friends who are like, really, really, really enthusiastic about their love of food.

Send noods with Paul Smith’s iconic spaghetti print, now on a sweatshirt and 50% off so you can justify the designer price tag. Seriously though, this pasta looks so good we’re ready to break out the Parmesan.

The martini is truly the ultimate MVP of the cocktail world. If you can afford these, please be aware that we are all very, very jealous. We take our martinis extra dirty, and our footwear extra flashy.

We were kind of on the fence about getting a tree this year until we saw this absolutely perfect bagel ornament, celebrating the poppy-seed-and-sesame-seed-topped wonder we all know and love. And I’m sorry, wait, is that a drop-dead gorgeous negroni ornament that looks like it would taste like our absolute fave synthesis of Campari, vermouth, and gin? Now we have to get a tree.

OK, so toothpaste isn’t exactly a food. But not only is it something you use after meals; it’s also an underutilized opportunity to introduce exciting new flavors into your life. Marvis is this delightfully fanciful Italian toothpaste brand that comes in all sorts of unconventional varieties, including jasmine, cardamom, and ginger. Their “flavour collection” is also the perfect example of a present that would feel silly to buy for yourself, but is awesome to receive. Thirty-six bucks may sound like a lot for toothpaste, but hey, it’s something that you (hopefully) use twice a day.

Spaghetti with clams isn't just a dish; it's [clap] a [clap] lifestyle!!! [jumps off a cliff into the ocean…] For real though, we're beyond ready to take an endless vacation where we sit at a seaside cafe in Italy all day in this shirt, eating seafood and noodles and pretending that bills and Excel spreadsheets don’t exist.

We love omakase, and we’re ready to signal our devotion by displaying this highly realistic replica of salmon and ebi nigiri (and a pile of ginger) on our desk or nightstand, the perfect place to cracle our celly.

We don’t care if this is for literal children—although it’s actually an adult collectible, gotta love Kid Robot. Whatever, we need it now and we will cherish it forever. Thanks for understanding.

Lay on the crispy noodles all day, then snort the seasoning packet.

Like, need we say more? Also, these comfortable slip-ons are apparently the go-to kicks for the kind of professionals who stay on their feet all day, and this is a limited edition streetwear drop, OK? Win/win.

A very flossy flex for the slice king or queen.

People who say size doesn’t matter obviously have never been gifted two and a half pounds of gabagool, three pounds of garlic, a whopping five and a half pounds of castelvetrano olives, or a year’s supply of Parmigiano Reggiano.

Serve with a side of drawn butter.

If there is ever a relatable concept for living in These Times, it’s wanting to lay down (and possibly die) in an enormous bowl of warm, comforting spaghetti. Collage artist Beth Koester really captures that sentiment. We need this on our wall, now.

Maybe you're wondering how to wrap up all of these insanely special and unique food gifts, and you don't wanna go the usual route of digging around the back of your closet for some wrinkled, metallic-foil-emblazoned paper with mistletoe all over it or whatever. It turns out that wrapping paper can actually be very cool and kind of part of the gift in and of itself—personally we're really feeling this wassail spice stuff from Samantha Santana. Can't ya just smell the mulled cider?

Did you read everything above this and think, ugh, I still don't know what to get for my wildly obsessive food nut friend who is impossible to shop for? If you’ve got a cool $1,700 burning a hole in your pocket, grab them this large pop art photograph of a vivisected coffee and pile of particularly tasty looking jelly doughnuts by NYC-based photographer Beth Galton.

If that’s a little out of budget, you can also grab this alternative still life of a cigarette gently resting on a pile of Cheetos for under 300 bones.

This is for the relentlessly fearless, the truly committed, the one true lord of seafood. Design Toscano wouldn’t settle for anything less. Prepare to be the envy of the neighborhood.

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story.