Dating apps are the necessary evil of 21st century sex lives. They're clogged with people looking to bone who think it's sexy to wistfully describe their unemployment in their profile. But if you never sign up for Tinder, Happn, Grindr, or any of the zillion other dating apps, you're likely to go to bed at night alone. As people have navigated apps, they've developed a new set of turn-offs. We asked them to tell us the profile faux pas that are most likely to make them swipe left.
When I used a dating app, my biggest turn-offs were definitely small things. All guys with cats are totally trying to emotionally manipulate you and play you. On the opposite side of the coin is men holding fish. They come off as oblivious. (What woman is interested in a fish?) Guys who use Myers-Briggs types are an automatic no; I have no idea how I'm supposed to interpret them, and they only show me they'd be really boring at a party. Anyone who brews their own beer is an automatic no, because their time is guaranteed to be taken up with something really boring. My roommate has a great rule, which is to swipe no on any guy who is into running marathons. I also have a rule—informed by my personal experience—to never talk to a guy named Andrew. All Andrews are assholes.
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Unsolicited hole pics. My biggest turn-off would have to be unsolicited hole pics. Nothing kills the mood of a convo like a pop-up of a brown flower. Like, if you must flaunt your fuckplace at that moment, maybe start with the cheeks?
White people with bindis are [my biggest turn-off]. What more is there to say?
My biggest one is people that have dogs in their photos that they don't actually own. I believe it's incredible misleading and unfair. I also think men who list their drink of choice as personality traits are by far the biggest douchebags on this planet.
The main thing that infuriates me is anytime [a girl] has a demand in her profile, like "You'd have to speak first." I see that a lot, and [I] swiiiiiiiiiipe left. Don't boss me around. You can't tell me what to do. You're not my real mom!
When I used dating apps, I had more turn-offs than turn-ons. Most of all, I hated gay guys whose profiles revolved around their muscles. (Behind every muscle queen is a very insecure 12-year-old fat boy, and I have no desire to deal with a dude's childhood insecurities.) My second biggest turn-off was boys who flaunted their twinkiness: pictures in American Apparel short-shorts, captions about how much they loved drinking at the Abbey. There's an expiration date on looking boney and hairless, so you better showcase your brain. I also hated men who bragged about their crystal meth use, or "Tina," as the gays call it. Crystal is… not hot!
Oh my god, [my biggest turn-off is] when someone in the first few messages right [away says], "I'm sorry but I just need to tell you that you are one of the most beautiful guys I've seen on here." Honestly, I also got convinced once to go on a date with a brony because he told me we could watch Crossroads.
Well, obviously, the whole "I've never been with a black girl" thing. Dudes think that makes us more likely to [want to] hook up or hang out with [them because they] let us know we can be a "first." [Another turn-off is] guys who post all details about their hobbies and interests but then only want one thing.
[My biggest turn-off is] mostly the fact that they were on the dating app in the first place. I couldn't get past that they seemed to "need" someone else. Not my style.
*Name has been changed.