The Best Sex Adventures I Had in 2017—for the Sake of Journalism

It's been one hell of a year.
December 13, 2017, 10:30pm
All photos courtesy of the author

2017 has been a long and thankless year. While it’s been one of growth for me personally—I moved in with a pug named Frank, I bought a piece of a Bitcoin, I stopped going on dates with men who call their friends their “buddies”—it has also been one of unique devastation, the kind you tuck away deep inside you. I lost people I loved, and people I wanted to. I found a new therapist, which has taken me no less than a decade. I learned that there’s no non-surgery way to get my butt to look the way I want it to. I trudged through the daily, uninteresting mini tragedies that make up a life. But I have been lucky enough to maintain a powerful regular source of joy and satisfaction, and that is writing my column, Sex Machina. (Oh and, like, my friends and family. Big fan.)


I wrote a sex column in college, and blogged about sex after graduation, but went on a years-long hiatus after trolls—some I knew and some I didn’t—made me feel like I couldn’t write about this stuff without hurting myself emotionally. But in 2017, truly the year of Fuck It, I was presented with an opportunity to get back at it. Every step has been unbelievably rewarding: meditating on bad fingering, writing diss tracks to emotionally reckless daters, trying to get into butt stuff and going on more kooky adventures for the sake of the story and Science.

Here, I’m rounding up my favorite columns of the year—the ones that I think started the best conversations, even if they humiliated me the most. Thank you for reading! Be in touch with me about what you’d like to see on the column via Twitter and Instagram (no topic is too embarrassing) and please, for fuck’s sake, use protection.

What Happened When I Texted, 'U Up?' to Every Guy in My Phone

I Gave a Sex Coach Full Control of My Sex Life for a Week

Coming and Going: I Wore Vibrating Underwear While Doing My Daily Errands

The 'Broad City' Sex Toys Are Finally Here—So I Tried Them All

What Happened When I Tried to Get Laid on LinkedIn

I Butt-Dialed a Tinder Date Who Ghosted Me—and It Went Surprisingly Well

The Satisfying Joy of Sending Platonic Nudes to Your Friends

The Bizarre, Horny Messages You Get from Men When You Write a Sex Column