The humble doughnut is a surprisingly versatile food.
Fried dough, while not exactly healthy, can be a reliable conduit for whatever you're into, whether it be braised hare and smoked fish, leather-daddy Halloween treats, or good ol' fashioned drugs. That's right, doughnuts can also be used to move an entirely different kind of supply, though their efficacy in concealing pills turns out to be questionable.
According to police in Mount Holly, New Jersey, a 21-year-old man named Brian Perry delivered a drug-laced doughnut to Bordentown Regional High School while trying to pass it off as "lunch" for a student. Officials at the school reportedly became suspicious after finding a little plastic baggie containing six pills inside the hole of the doughnut, local media reported.
Those pills turned out to be the prescription anxiety medication Xanax—and Brian Perry's master plan of getting drugs into a high school via fried dough resulted in drug possession and distribution charges. According to reports, Ilker Ceylan, the 18-year-old Bordentown senior for whom the drugs were allegedly destined, is also looking at criminal charges for drug possession and distribution, along with an additional charge of marijuana possession.
While a bag of pills might fit conveniently into a doughnut hole, one can't help but wonder if Perry and Ceylan would have pulled off their transaction had they taken the extra time to conceal the Xanax in a hole-less Boston Cream or jelly doughnut instead. Messier, for sure, but probably smarter.
So until doughnut smuggling gets perfected, it looks like drug dealers will have to resort to the more traditional methods of using food for crime.