Cops in Southeast Portland stopped a couple who were driving a suspected stolen car. During the stop, the cops searched the car and allegedly found a whole bunch of incriminating stuff. A lot of cash. A loaded revolver. Some scales for weighing drugs. And they found a bag full of drugs that had the words “Definitely Not a Bag Full of Drugs” written on it.

They say the bag contained 10 grams of fentanyl and methamphetamine. The couple was arrested. The guy, a 35-year-old named Reginald Lamont Reynolds, is facing multiple charges including delivery and unlawful possession of methamphetamine, unauthorized use of the vehicle, and possession of a stolen vehicle. The woman, a 37-year-old named Mia Rochelle Baggenstos, will not face any charges.

We all love some good irony now and then, but if you’re transporting illegal materials in a bag around town, you should consider leaving your irony back home where it won’t instantly incriminate you when/if you are caught. The only good that will come of it is for someone like me, who gets to come along and write a blog post about it. It will end poorly for you.

Even stranger is the fact that this isn’t the first time something like this has happened this year. Back in July 2024, some cops in Florida pulled over a 41-year-old woman named Laura Riley after she was spotted driving without wearing her seatbelt. During the routine traffic stop, the cop noticed some items around the car’s floorboard. When the cop peered into the car, he allegedly spotted some drug-related paraphernalia, which sparked a probable cause search of the vehicle. The cops reportedly found a purse that had the words “Bag of Drugs” written on it. They opened it and, lo and behold, it was indeed filled with drugs and drug paraphernalia. A needle, metal spoons, glass pipes, and baggies with a white-colored residue that ended up being crack cocaine, powdered cocaine, and crystal meth, among other drugs.

Folks, you’ve got to start labeling your bags of drugs differently. Just a small change of one word is all it takes. “Bag of books” could be enough to deter a cop.