How Did You Find Out About Sex?

Time was, you’d learn about sex when you were real little on the farm and you’d ask your daddy, “Daddy, what them dogs doin’?” and he'd say, “Junior, them dog’s a-fucking each other and won’t be long ‘fore little baby dogs pop out that lady dog’s vagine. You’re a man now.” Then you’d die of polio a year later. Those good old days are gone, and now people learn about sex all kinds of unnatural ways. We went out to the streets to ask people how they learned about the whole penis-vagina thing.

Ned: I was in the second or first grade. Among my friends I was normally the last one to know about a lot of different things. They’d say do you know this, do you know that?

What do you mean by this or that?
“Do you know how your mommy and dad got you?” And I’m like “Oh, the stork!” And they’re like, “No, a dick and a vagina.” So I guess it started from there.

Peppy girl who wouldn’t give her name: It was in girl scouts and these two girls told me at an overnight camp and I was really disgusted and I didn’t believe them.

How old were you?
I was about elementary school-age I think.

Olivia (right): I remember being turned on by anthropomorphized animals and asking my mom about that, so that’s it.

How old were you?
Five or 6.

Chris: The first time I heard about sex was when I was in first grade.

How'd it go down?
That’s when all my friends had their teenage hormones and talked about humping girls and having sex in the closet.

Did you do anything?
You know… We all ended up having our experiments in the closet with females.

Derek: I don’t mind answering the question, I just don’t want my photo taken. But I have a really good answer.

Well just give me the answer and maybe we’ll work that out.
The first thing that came in mind when you asked the question was that I saw a really provocative photograph of my mother and the rest is for doctor Freud to figure out.

How old were you?
I don’t recall, very young. Five, six.

Previously – What Racist Stuff Is in Your Head?