
Advertisement
Advertisement
Practice your aim. However, if you plan to try this on George W. Bush, be careful—he has catlike reflexes.Let Your Dog Do Your Dirty Work
Put a sign across your dog’s back that says, “I bark for politicians.” When the politician reaches out to pet it, signal Rover to bite a new hole in his ass.Release Noxious Gases
Before start time, eat three and a half pounds of baked beans smothered in molasses and barbeque sauce. Then enter the venue and sit or stand as close to the front as possible. About five minutes into the speech, let it rip. Fill a few of your buddies up with some beans, too, and scatter them throughout the crowd for a maximum odiferous effect.Write a Check
Nothing says, “Do as I say” to a politician like greasing their palms. Politicians will do anything for a dollar, so if you can pay one that you disagree with, that is even better. Buy a politician you don't like before a big speech and then control him like a Stepford wife. Pull their puppet strings and ask them to insert ridiculous things into their speech right before they hit the podium and completely ruin their career. It’s a cold-blooded move, but what can you do about it? Money talks and bullshit runs a marathon.Previously - A DREAM Act DeferredWillie D is a member of the legendary rap group the Geto Boys.Follow him on Twitter: @WillieDLIVE
