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Vice Blog

In partnership with Footlocker and the new adidas Bounce, we've been looking at living, breathing examples of people and circumstances that exhibit an unfair advantage. Here's a few we came up with…

SUPERHUMANS
This week Sam Wolfson gets jealous of people who possess superhuman abilities:

Vladimir Durov was the USSR's most beloved animal trainer, rumoured to possess Dr Doolittle-like abilities. In lab testing he could make his dog complete a series of complex tasks just by staring at it from the next room. Legend has it he convinced a hippopotamus do a somersault.

Tim Storm's loose vocal chords mean he can produce the lowest note ever sung by a human being, according to the Guinness Book Of Records. He can make people poop and bring his lady to orgasm just by saying "Hi".

Oscar Pistorious, also known as "Blade Runner", is a disabled sprinter with prosthetic legs that let him run the 400m in 46 seconds. He wanted to run in the able-bodied athletes, but the Olympic Committee said that his carbon-fibre blades constituted an unfair advantage. Spoil sports.

Nina Kulagina's unfair advantage was that she had the power of telekinesis. For those of you who haven't seen Carrie, this means that she could move stuff by just thinking about it. Imagine this chick on the roulette table. She'd clean up.

Trevor Baker is a sleazy guy who hangs around those God channels you'll find next to Babestation and Fishing TV Extra. His show involves excited Christians queuing up so that Trev can cop a feel. They pass out as soon as he goes near them.