MR. MOTIVATOR SOLVES YOUR PROBLEMS

Dear Mr. Motivator, The Motivator says: Everyone is entitled to be different, to have their own opinions, likes and dislikes. Situations change around all of us, as do our preferences. Trying to get people to gel together is one of the most difficult things in the world, purely because we’ve all got different personalities and hormones running differently at different times, problems hitting everyone at different times. We know that committees don’t work; we always need someone to lead. On that basis, I think you should try to create your own space so that you can maintain your independence. What about having a divided section in the fridge where you can put a plastic container big enough to hold everything you like, with your label on the front? Perhaps buy some toilet paper that sits in your own room to take to the bathroom when you’re going? That way you’re creating a demarcation line between you and everybody else, which allows you to be YOU. Dear Mr. Motivator, The Motivator says: This is a difficult one, but at least you recognize that you have a problem. You’ve said, “Look, I’ve got a marijuana addiction. I know that my life isn’t going straight.” What we need to do is divorce ourselves from some of those things. We need to start setting a list of priorities: “What is it I want to achieve out of my life?” We need to do some goal setting, to have a real sit down and a think. Get a piece of paper in front of you and write down all the negatives in your life, all the positives, and where you’d like to get to. From there, make a list of ten things that will act as stepping stones to help you achieve what you want to get to. One of those things might be saying: “I’ve got to start slowly cutting down on the weed.” Another may be deciding: “I’ve got to stop driving for a while.” A third may be to say: “OK, to gain this goal I’m after, I’ve got to also start focusing a lot more on me, and what’s important about me,” which could mean taking up a hobby that should give you a distraction from all those things which are leading you down the wrong road. It’s not going to be easy, but remember: OBSTACLES ARE WHAT YOU SEE WHEN YOU TAKE YOUR EYES OFF YOUR GOAL. The most important thing you need in your life is a goal, and you don’t seem to have it. Remember, the first two letters of GOAL is GO! Dear Mr. Motivator, The Motivator says: Another difficult scenario. When you’ve got somebody in your life who you care about, you feel like you always want to support them and be there. But sometimes the best support is not actually to be there. There’s nothing wrong with going out for a drink together, but afterward you know what he’s going to get up to so you must go on home. But should you go further than that? Probably you should, because probably he needs a real shaking up. This is the point where the authorities need to be involved. You owe it to the people he attacks, to protect them, especially if you know that your best friend or your lover is out there breaking the law. I don’t think you should ignore it and I don’t think you should take part. I think you need to become as far removed from him as possible, I’m detecting some negative vibes. Dear Mr. Motivator, The Motivator says: As parents, the one thing we’re supposed to do with our children is to provide them with the ammunition to go out there and make decisions themselves. We do that by giving them education, but naturally whilst they’re at home we impart onto them our beliefs. When they leave our nest, they’re a free spirit. At that stage they can say: “I believe in Christ,” or “I don’t believe in Christ.” “I believe in Scientology,” or “I don’t believe in Scientology.” What I think you should do is make a decision that suits you. If you feel there are some benefits for you personally to gain by getting involved, do it. There’s no harm in trying it and then walking away from it. After all it’s not a cult where you’re going to be imprisoned. It’s like someone telling you that a meal is very good for you: “Oh, that meal was fabulous last night.” It means nothing. Go and try the meal, and then you’ll know. Dear Mr. Motivator, The Motivator says: If he’s mispronouncing your name, and it’s important to you, I would just walk up to him one day and say, “Excuse me, sir…friend, there’s one thing that you’ve always been doing that I’m really uncomfortable with. Can I tell you about it?” and he’ll say, “Go on, tell me what it is,” and then you’ll say, “You haven’t quite been pronouncing my name correctly.” The tone in your voice and the way you say it is what’s going to dictate how he takes it. He’ll apologize and you’ll say, “Lately I’ve been feeling I know you better, so I feel confident now to come and speak to you about this. I’m so glad you’ve taken it this way. Do you want to try repeating it after me? I realize it might be difficult for you.” Particularly if you’ve got an Indian sounding name, it’s very hard sometimes to get people to actually say it. A lot of Indian people are quite happy to have people just say the initials, but I think you should always use your name, you should never shorten it for the sake of making it easier for other people to say it, because that’s who you are. So you pronounce it for him, tell him, “No, it wasn’t quite right that time, say it again. You can do it!” Dear Mr. Motivator The Motivator says: I think you should wake up, come out of your dream, make yourself a nice stiff cup of coffee, and go out and have a nice day. I mean, that kind of world can’t be real…?