Sometimes looking back can be puke-inducingly painful and sometimes (if you aren't a wimp about) it can be fucking hilarious.
Compare our reportage on the Russian sociopolitical clime from ten years ago to our coverage of Russia today. Back in 1996, we were wee guttersnipes who got blind drunk two hours before our print deadlines and then pounded out rants that had almost no basis in fact.
Now we're slobs who eat too many BLTs and send journalists all over the world to do our bidding, hence the Russian Issue. How about that for time's arrow?
Russia is now caught in some kind of tornado, a whirlwind, an unknown democratic circus of voting madness. HA! HA! Some will laugh at the scenes that are played on CNN. Most surely will have seen the footage of a very drunk Yeltsin dancing in a frenzy with himself on stage with Raza (a popular Russian rock band). Better yet, the photos of him in a very happy mood being carried by striking coal miners to the canteen in search of more vodka.This is how politicians get votes in Mother Russia, drink a lot. Zhirinovsky, the fascist, ultranationalist madman, blind on strong drinks, groping at young boys' bottoms during a heavy metal concert thinking that they were girls because of their long hair. Or the DPR (Democratic Party of Russia) campaign chief worker hiring hundreds of taxi cab girls (prostitutes) at a time for their delegates to 'play' with. The mafia often sponsors big orgies of booze, drugs and sex for all the fourteen registered parties. This is chaos. This is my Russia.To get into the politics of it would be not only dull for Western readers, but futile and stupid. No one understands what is going on, not even the politicians themselves. Our governmental process is not a rational beast, it is wrong, Russia is out of control. It is with a kind of strange feeling that I say this, for this rambling anarchy brings a forge along with it. Leaving us to hammer our own destruction, or burn this land with the fire of another revolution, as Nero fiddles in his tower. I love to drink, I love this revolution, there are no more militias to constrain us. Now we make the action movies of Hollywood look like a tea party compared with our general election.If you can get into the parties it is good, that is where Russia's future is being drunkenly decided. Politics in Moscow is such a big party you cannot believe it. I was recently asked to a rally for our Yabloko (Liberal) Party. Isaac Dizagellev, the host of the party (a well known Mafiosi) has thrown many luxurious balls for a lot of the democratic powers. I went to the party with a reporter from La Monde. When we arrived we were felt over (frisked) two times, first by the police then second by Dizagellev's own men. Upon entering the great hall we were given a bottle of very real champagne (French) each and a handful of Castro's (cigars), 'as is the custom of the West.' Most of the guests were drinking their champagne by the neck, choosing to smash their glasses at the feet of the many young women who had been imported to make the right feel for the whole evening. At one o'clock food was served. Texas style BBQ ribs and steak 'For the luck, like Dallas.'General Lebed, Russia's newest strong man, was there with a whole team of young girls cooing 'Lebed, oohhh, Lebed.' This in Russian means 'swan ohhh you sweet swan.' The general (newly appointed as Russia's Head of intelligence and military chief) sat a young beauty on his lap and started in on the cognac. Later in the evening Lebed was heard to sing drunkenly about cutting off Zhuganov's head and drinking in his blood.Zhuganov is the second most powerful man in Russia, he and his hard-line communist party have thirty percent of the vote and are calling for a coalition government with Yeltsin. Zhuganov's party is supported by another Mafia group the 'Heads of the Devil.' This anti-western group is credited with terrorizing many people into voting communist.The Russian mafia is divided into pro-west factions (usually old KGB agents) and anti-west factions (mostly ex-combat troops from the wars.) These two groups frequently are fighting over everything from drug trade, prostitution, arms selling and now even voting. The murder rate in greater Moscow has climbed three times since the election began.The 'Heads of the Devil' cohort threw a campaign party for Zhuganov at the Kempinski hotel. During this party the police were called in twice to stop brawls and carry away badly beaten guests, one of whom died while going to the hospital. I have heard rumors that a lot of cocaine was given out free and that this is one of the reasons for this kind of mad crazy behavior.The last party I went to was Yeltsin's own. My God! Now that was a festival. Roast oxen, fine wines, white sturgeon, bison grass vodka for thousands. People from everywhere around the world came to drink and feast with the top Russian politicos. We the press were given bottles of brandy and told to write good things about our father (Yeltsin). Everyone laughing as our leader sat at the head table, his face getting redder as he drank glass after glass of iced vodka. Now this was a leader's party, a leader worthy of voting for, worthy of ruling our country.I left as the light came up for pledging to vote for the driver who took myself and a young Ukrainian taxi girl home. Good to my promise on election day I filled in my own ballot with the driver's name on it. I'm sure he would do just as good a job as the other drunken child molesters who we have just elected to lead us.Gregor Zakarov is twenty-four and lives in Kiev and Moscow. He is the guitar player in the Rusian group 'Smut' and a freelance writer whose articles are widely read throughout Eastern Europe. Give him a google if you're interested in more of his writings.
Compare our reportage on the Russian sociopolitical clime from ten years ago to our coverage of Russia today. Back in 1996, we were wee guttersnipes who got blind drunk two hours before our print deadlines and then pounded out rants that had almost no basis in fact.
Now we're slobs who eat too many BLTs and send journalists all over the world to do our bidding, hence the Russian Issue. How about that for time's arrow?
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