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Vice Blog

Dear Vice - Hummer Limo Tow

Dear Vice,

I had to be somewhere so unfortunately I couldn't stick around, but how fucking satisfying would it have been to see the faces on the gaggle of ultratanned Jersey trash who rented this as they tumbled out of the club and started going, "Yo, where's our ride?" Then when the driver showed back up from the bar across the street all slightly disheveled going, "Wow, I'mmmm (hic) really sorrrry about this, can I borrrrrow one of yerrr phones to call my boss?"-- Oh shit, I just gave myself a fucking tremor of douchechills.

Yours,
ERIK B