Composite By Vice Staff
Welcome to 2022, baby, a year that we hope blesses you and your loved ones with clear sinuses, healthy hookups, and zero bad trips. It's time to escort 2021 out (86'd!) and usher in a squeaky fresh new 52-week set that holds all the promise and hope that we can squeeze out of our burned-out little bodies like bubblegum-flavored toothpaste. We're updating our wardrobes (finally time to get some Croc stilettos), throwing out our expired condiments, and, to top it all off, blessing our homes with big, beautiful wall calendars—honestly, the ideal way to lay out a welcome mat for 12 months of positive mental attitude, champ. Whether you're looking for something with a slick modern aesthetic, an ongoing display of Tom of Finland's greatest hits, or an homage to your favorite show about New Jersey waste collectors, there is a wall calendar for every need. Here are some of the biggest, best, most beautiful, and most badass wall calendars that we could track down. The Stendig calendar has become truly iconic, thanks to its massive, eye-catching format (it’s a whopping three feet by four feet), which makes it as important as wall art as it is helpful for watching the time go by. Created by Italian modernist design legend Massimo Vignelli in 1966, it's been called "arguably the greatest calendar of all time," and it's easy to see why. This ultra-clean, versatile calendar by Marjolein Delhaas comes with a large grid sheet for each month, but also an accompanying to-do list, so you can keep track of your necessary tasks, errands, and reminders alongside January, February, and beyond. The Spectrum wall calendar from Poketo has a poster-sized, monochrome page for each month, with a soothing aesthetic and plenty of space for stickies, notes, and doodles. Think of it as a giant mood ring that changes color each month. If you don't have the (pretty significant) amount of free wall space that a Stendig requires, but still want a big, bold reminder of what day it is, Shinola's 2022 wall calendar is here to save the day. Plus, it's so damn satisfying to rip each page off.We love the Parks Project for many reasons, not the least of which is its ongoing celebration of all the countless wonders of our National Parks. While the Parks Projects' 2022 calendar has already sold out (wowza), you can grab similarly retro-cool National Parks calendars by Willow Creek Press and Cavallini Papers & Co. This dry-erase calendar from Brucie is a smash hit because you can erase, swap, and move info around on it just as quickly as you can write. No need to remember to tear off March or write around scribbled out plans; for the noncommittal, it's dry-erase or bust.A farmers market calendar is a great way to not only revel in the juicy beauty of Mother Earth's edible bounty, but also to remind yourself that strawberries are probably flavorless this month and it's smarter to stick with citrus, squash, and other happy winter produce. What's in season? Just peep your cal. What's the calendar based on, anyway? The moon! Space! The stars and stuff, dummy! So lean into the real shit moving around in the sky as the days pass—and stay on top of your horoscopes—with these astrological calendars. Llewellyn's Astrological Calendar is considered the crème de la crème, lauded as "the best-known, most-trusted astrological calendar since 1932," thank you very much. It's packed with artwork by Paige Carpenter, comprehensive horoscope and forecast information, and even almanac-like info including travel tips and the best days for planting and fishing. Looking for something with less shirtless mythological figures, but still want to know when mercury is gonna be in retrograde? The Astrological Year calendar has got you covered, and has tons of interesting astronomical tidbits—plus it's organized by zodiac sign rather than by calendar month.Don't want to go a day of 2022 without gazing upon the face of a cold-blooded killer or beleaguered New Jersey mob side character? That's what The Sopranos 2022 wall calendar is here for, baby—celebrating Tony, Paulie, Christophaaa, and the rest of the gang. At least when you wake up to the sight of your blissfully homoerotic Tom of Finland wall calendar. The iconic artist's work is showcased on thicc, heavy card stock, featuring "naked cowboys, leathermen, muscle studs, and a year’s worth of big, thick bulges." Happy new year, Daddy! No, seriously, why not? If you're looking for some gooey, groovy pinups, this 16-month selection of some of the sexiest snails to hit your local log is where it's at. Interested in urban poultry husbandry, but mainly for the sexy chicken-loving men? Look no further for the wall art that you crave, because the 2022 Chicken Daddies wall calendar has dropped, and it's as salacious as ever. This year, it's the Daisy Dukes Edition, and you won't be disappointed. Enjoy, and don’t forget to pencil us in for next year.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story.
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Ah, the old Stendig
Because less is more
For the Pantone heads
When you want your info loud and clear
Bring the outside inside
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One size fits all (months)
Counting down the days till tomato season is back
For the astrologists among us
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Because every month is the right time to eat gabagool
It's a great day to be gay…
Why not celebrate the beautiful diversity of snails?
And finally, the Chicken Daddies calendar we've been waiting for
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story.