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This Removable Bike Fender Will Literally Save Your Ass (From Getting Wet)

Whatever reason you ride a bicycle, one thing is for sure—nobody likes a wet ass. 
Ian Burke
Brooklyn, US
July 26, 2021, 3:07pm
ass-saver-2
Composite by Getty Images and Vice Staff

We all know (and possibly want to be) the person who shows up to work with their helmet tucked under their arm as they stroll up to their desk, tacitly signaling to everyone around them that they are, in fact, a bike commuter. (And, of course, that they’re better than you.) Or, perhaps you’re an eco-conscious person who rides to reduce your carbon footprint. Whatever reason you ride a bicycle, one thing is for sure: Nobody likes a wet ass. 

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Now, lots of commuter bikes have built-in fenders to prevent your wheels from wicking up groundwater and making a gnarly line of puddle-drippings up the seat of your pants. However, this isn’t always the case, especially with road bikes and single speeds/fixed gears. I recently got a single-speed after some entrepreneurial Brooklynite sawed the catalytic converter—and muffler—off of my ’06 Honda Element that was parked on the street (RIP). While I love my new bike, the rainy summer we’re having leaves tons of puddles and streams all over the place of the nastiest sidewalk runoff you can imagine. After a few rides wearing light-colored shorts—and the subsequent shit-stain that my water-flicking back wheel caused—I’d had enough. 

Unfortunately, my bike doesn’t have a place to mount a fender, and even if it did, I’m not sure I like the look. Plus, a fender adds a little extra weight, which is out of the question if I’m going to finally make the upside-down milk crate podium at my hometown’s charity race, after lying about my age group. So, I popped on the internet and gave her the ol’ look-see.

This, friends, is where I found the humble (and aptly named) Ass Saver. 

Ass Savers

Ass Savers Bicycle Mudguard

This lightweight, low-profile solution to adult pants-wetting is essentially a removable, fender-shaped piece of plastic that you tuck under your saddle during wet conditions. Except for a bit of folding, there’s no assembly required, and it works surprisingly well. You can also fold it in half and tuck it under your saddle for storage when it’s dry, but I find just removing it completely is the way to go—especially if you leave your bike locked up outside, since there’s no screws or locking mechanism to prevent people from taking it. 

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Ass Savers

ZEITBIKE Ass Savers Bicycle Fender

Ass Savers

Ass Savers Big Saddle Mounted Mudguard for Wide Tires

They come in all shapes and sizes, and they even have ones for your front wheel as well. The Ass Saver is lightweight, easy to install, and keeps your ass clean while you ride. (Well, from the outside at least. We won’t blame you if you soil yourself while getting that KOM. Strava, as we all know, comes first.) 

See y’all on r/bicyclecirclejerk. 


The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story.