The Best Deals This Week, From Cool Loungewear to Coffee Machines

Every week, we wrangle the badde$t deals in cyberspace just for you [tips cowboy hat]. We are the shopping heroes of our own deranged Spaghetti Western that is actually about pasta, because we’re always here for the food and the Le Creuset deals. We take no prisoners scouring the web for whopper promos on the best stuff that will keep us looking cooler than everyone else, feeling better than Gwyneth, and getting caffeinated with espresso machines that make even Rich Judgmental Aunt go, “Damn, they have their shit together.”  

On this most blessed of fall Fridays, we’re loading up on vibrator sales, and copping some noise-cancelling headphones that will make the long, winter work commute more bearable; we’re taking home a rug that can handle our stains with style, getting sexy-cozy in some Tony Montana-worthy loungewear, and getting a head start on the best early Black Friday deals on Amazon. Slam another Nespresso, and let’s ride.  

Have you ever tried Vietnamese coffee? It’s delish, dude (especially iced) because it’s super robust and has lower acidity than regular drip. You can get 15% off at Nguyen Coffee Supply right now with the code 15OFF and get brewing. Also, if you’re looking for a gift for coffee snobs who already have a phin filter, they’ve got some sick merch (i.e., graphic long-sleeves) just in time for the fall-to-winter wardrobe transition. 

We have an arsenal of clitoral vibrators that includes everything from a monster jam combined orgasm machine by luxury Swedish sex toy makers (they just call it the Enigma) to the iconic Satisfyer Pro 2 clit sucker, a true desert island sex toy. CalExotics makes a great addition to our clitoral toy rotation with a non-suction vibrator that flicks your clit, which is perfect for people who like a little more direct contact down there. “This is a very intense, effective and lightweight toy,” explains one reviewer, “The flexible tip flicks back and forth at high speed. The sensation is extremely intense, almost to the point of being overwhelming, but it gave me several mini-orgasms.” 

We are officially in soup season, which means a changing of the guard for our wardrobe is in order. No more sandals and slinky summer shit [*sheds Hot Girl tear].* Now is the time to stack up beanies on beanies, streetwear puffers, and get some silky loungewear for nights at home or runs to the bodega for more Takis. This on-sale cheetah and caterpillar print set goes so hard, giving us perfect The-Dude-meets-Tony-Montana energy. 

Noise-cancelling headphones are the butter to the bread that is our outdoor commuter ‘fit. They make everything go down a lot smoother, and make us look forward to even the most mundane parts of the day. This set by Bose has hundreds of bangin’ reviews and a 4-star rating. “They are expensive BUT they do the job,” says one New Jersey commuter, “and seamlessly connect to my iPhone, providing me with peace.” 

Don’t be surprised if one day we just pack up and move into a West Elm showroom. (Are their restrooms as good as Barnes & Noble? Please report back.) Anyway, you can get up to 70% off home goods at their Warehouse Sale right now. We dig this rug because it’s chic, won’t stain easily, and makes us look like we’re much more well-travelled than we actually are. Don’t tell that to our Tinder date, though.   

Shipping time is going to be a little backed-up this year with all the supply chain drama, so it’s not a bad idea to get a head start (on your head start) for holiday shopping with Amazon’s early Black Friday deals. Channel your big Virgo energy, pound a triple espresso, and scope the deals, deals, deals in everything from tech to home goods and beyond. It will be worth it for bringing your Criterion and Chill game to the next level with this big boy:

We will be upgrading to our Best Adult Selves with a 3.5-quart Le Creuset ~sauteuse~, a.k.a. a piece of iconic, oven-safe cookware that would inspire Saint Ina Garten to give us a gold star on the forehead; it’s perfect for soups, gratins, roasts, or poisoning your husband like a true Victorian baddie. 

Finally, we will be topping off the evening with a svelte Keurig coffee maker that understands how important it is to take up as little space as possible on our counters, while giving us maximum bean juice. 

Happy shopping, and don’t forget to sip a digestif after pounding down all those hot, salty deals. 

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story.