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Now People Want to Drink the Sarcophagus Juice

In "some sort of carbonated energy drink."

On Thursday, some archeologists over in Egypt decided to go against the threat of a world-ending curse to open up a 2,000-year-old black sarcophagus found in Alexandria. In it they found three skeletons, believed to be of military officials, marinating in a red liquid the Ministry of Antiquities called "sewage." And while the archeologists may not have unleashed an apocalyptic curse upon humanity, they have, however, unearthed at least a couple hundred people who now want to drink the red sarcophagus "juice."


A petition, appropriately titled "let people drink the red liquid from the dark sarcophagus," launched just a day after the sarcophagus was opened and its goal is simple: "We need to drink the red liquid from the cursed dark sarcophagus in the form of some sort of carbonated energy drink so we can assume its powers and finally die."

At the time of publishing, the petition had scored more than 1,000 signatures and was rapidly getting close to its 1,500-signature goal. It's not clear how this relatively small petition would convince Egypt's Ministry of Antiquities to let people ingest part of the discovery, but those signing seem to think drinking from it will bring on the end of the world, putting an end to the misery that has been 2018.

As to what the red liquid actually consists of, the creator of the petition, user innes mck, brought up a good point: "Please stop trying to tell me the skeleton juice is mostly sewage thats impossible everyone knows skeletons cannot poop."

Bottoms up.

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