Identity

People Reveal the Worst Lies They Ever Told to Impress a Crush

A fake British accent, a dead ex, and other alternative facts.
January 29, 2017, 3:05pm
Photo by Robert Zaleski, courtesy of Stocksy

Everyone tries to impress first dates or crushes, but what happens when a small fib gets out of hand? In honor of the new era of "alternative facts," Broadly asked people to name the worst lie they ever told a crush and tell us if they got away with it.

The Girl Who Pretended to Be British

I was nervous on a first date once—so nervous that I greeted the guy in a British accent when I met him. (I do not know why that came out of my mouth.) When he asked me about my voice, I was like, "Yeah, I'm British. I'm from… Greenwich." It's the only town I could think of! We spent the rest of the date talking about how British I was. Mind you, I have a terrible British accent. We didn't go on a second date.

-Michelle

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The Girl Who Pretended to Do Yoga

I have a friend that was set up on a blind date with a guy who was all about Yoga. When she met him, she was so taken aback by his hotness that she proceeded to spew lies about her own devotion to yoga. She managed to keep up the pretense for a few dates until he surprised her with a picnic on the beach and then invited her to assume a certain pose with him as the sun set. She tried to mimic his pose, failed miserably, and almost immediately collapsed onto the sand just in time for the tide to hit her in the face. She was forced to come clean, and he was less than impressed. They didn't see each other again.

-Allie*

Photo by Studio Firma via Stocksy

The Guy Who Pretended to Be a Street Artist

I once met a Danish girl at a party who was really into street art back home in Denmark. I asked her if she'd seen the movie Exit Through the Gift Shop about Bansky, and her eyes lit up. It was her favorite movie. What a coincidence! I loved that movie too, I told her. We talked for hours about Banksy and street art, the philosophy of street art, our favorite styles of street art-ing, and the craziest street arts we had ever pulled off in the dead of night. I don't know if it was the language barrier, or if street art is just really easy to bullshit about, but we spent the night together. I still have never watched the movie, spraypainted graffiti on a wall, or even seen a Banksy painting.

-Mike

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The Girl With The "Dead" Boyfriend

A girl I knew in college wanted to avoid telling the guy she was dating that she'd never been in a relationship, so she made up that her previous boyfriend left her to join the Navy. She then realized she would have to find a way to keep her boyfriend from mentioning her previous "love" to her parents, so she said they had been engaged until he died in a naval accident. They did not discuss him to spare her feelings. Eventually the lie got so out of hand that it became impossible to believe and taxing for her to keep up. (She was skipping class to mourn the anniversary of his "death.") Some other friends and I had to sit her down and tell her how obvious the lie was. We urged her to tell the truth. She tried to keep the lie going for another week.

-Sara*

The Fake Brother

When I was a high school freshman, I didn't know anybody because I had just moved to the States. At one of the first parties I was invited to, I chatted with a super hot senior whom I had a major crush on. Right as I had caught his attention, my dad called to let me know he was in the driveway to pick me up. My crush saw it go down and asked who was picking me up and why I had to leave. I was embarrassed that my dad had come, so I lied and said I had an older brother who was coming to get me to go hang out with him and his friends. The rest of freshman year whenever I interacted with my crush (nothing ever happened), I had to remember to pretend that I had an older brother.

-Sophie

The Girl Who Pretended to Be Kosher

I told a date that I was kosher (I'm Jewish, and I thought it would make me sound more interesting). It backfired immediately when he pointed out that we were eating a pepperoni pizza.

-Rachel*

*Name has been changed.