This article originally appeared on VICE Netherlands in September 2017
On Sunday night, police in Geertruidenberg – a town in the south of the Netherlands – stopped a driver, inspected his car and found hundreds of ecstasy pills and bags of white powder.
The police officers, it turns out, were alerted to the fact this guy might be in possession of some drugs after he drove by and they noticed two bumper stickers on his car's rear window – one that read "Keta", the other "I love ketamine". When they confronted the driver, he admitted that he in fact did love ketamine – like many bumper stickers, the message came from the heart – and handed over four baggies containing white powder.
The officers, unmoved by his honesty, decided to search the car, turning up 300 ecstasy pills and more bags of white powder – suspected, you may have guessed, to be ketamine.
Local police reported the events on their Instagram account. Translating the caption would defeat the purpose of the first paragraph of this article.
As the investigation is ongoing, it's still unclear why an adult human driving around with illegal substances would adorn his car with declarations of love for those illegal substances. But I've been mulling this over for a while, and I believe there are three options.
The first is that this driver was attempting some GCSE-level reverse psychology. Consider it: surely no one with a car full of drugs would use that same car to advertise the fact they love drugs. Right? Because that would be stupid. The exact opposite of what you should do if your car is carrying enough ecstasy to feed an entire Tottenham warehouse rave.
The second option is simpler: the driver simply didn't give a fuck. Maybe he's the kind of guy who gets really bogged down with the rigamarole of everyday life, who only truly feels alive via the brief thrill of driving past a police car with a boot full of drugs and bumper sticker declaring his passion for taking said drugs.
Third option: he's an idiot.
Whatever the reason, it's clear that a) the driver is no coward, and b) loves ketamine. And you have to commend the officers for not being easily fooled by a bit of amateur psychology and instead going with their gut. Great work from everyone involved.