
All this got me thinking so I sat down and tried to foresee some other things that will soon be happening “due to the credit crunch”.
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Toilet attendants will soon be totally redundant since people will have zero spare change for such totally unnecessary things. Why would you pay a man to turn on a tap for you and hand you a paper towel anyway? It’s almost mugging—a man in the toilet asking you for money. Which you kind of have to give him. These guys are going to have to really start working hard to sell their wares if they’re to stand a chance of making it through these turbulent times. In saying this, I was in a club toilet recently and the male attendant had one of the best catchphrases I’ve ever heard: “No Armani, no poonani”. As I walked out chuckling to myself and rubbing some eau de poonani between my hands, I heard the woman attendant in the ladies’ toilet next door shouting, “No spray, no lay”. This pair will have no problems making it through this economic depression—that I am sure of.
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