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The Hangover News

This weekend, a man who surfed on a dead humpback whale surrounded by sharks admitted it was a bad idea.
November 3, 2014, 6:00am

A Quick ISIS Update
​​JIHADISTS RETURNING TO THE UK WILL BE HELPED, SAYS WILLIAM HAGUE
​But only if they have "good intentions" about stopping others from going to fight

(Image ​courtesy of Chatham House)

William Hague said that Britain should offer help to jihadists returning from Syria and Iraq if they had "good intentions" about stopping others from fighting in the conflict.

The Conservative leader of the House of Commons told Andrew Marr on Sunday that some jihadists "just need help because they will have been through an extremely traumatic period".

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"We haven't had a lot of people coming back yet and saying they want to be of assistance, but if they do, of course the government, the police and the National Health Service will work with those people and help them to recover and to assist others," he added.

The government had originally considered banning jihadists from returning to the UK, but reneged on the idea when they found out it  ​would have been totally illegal

Testing the Defence
BRITISH JETS INTERCEPTED A RUSSIAN BOMBER APPROACHING THE UK
​They escorted the Soviet-era "Bear bomber" through British airspace

An American jet flying next to a Russian Bear bomber (Photo ​​courtesy of the US Air Force)

RAF Typhoon jets were scrambled on Friday to intercept a Russian military aircraft that was approaching UK airspace.

In a statement on Saturday, the Ministry of Defence said that the Soviet-era Tupolev Tu-95 bomber was spotted approaching the UK, before being intercepted and "escorted through the UK flight information region".

The bombers had originally been part of a larger formation of eight Russian aircraft intercepted by Norwegian aircraft over the Norwegian Sea, six of which turned back to Russia.

A similar incident happened on Wednesday, when RAF jets intercepted other Russian military aircraft and escorted them through UK airspace.

Nato have recently warned of an "unusual" increase in Russian military flights in European airspace.

Overly Harsh Punishments
IRAN JAILED A WOMAN FOR TRYING TO WATCH A VOLLEYBALL GAME
​They claimed she'd spread propaganda against the regime

A British-Iranian woman has been sentenced to a year in prison by a secret hearing at Tehran's Revolutionary Court, having been found guilty of spreading "propaganda against the regime".

Ghoncheh Ghavami was arrested in June after trying to watch a volleyball game at one of Tehran's stadiums, breaching Iran's ban on women at large sporting events.

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Ghavami was one of a group of women who, despite the laws, attempted to watch Iran play Italy in a match on the 20th of June.

Amnesty International has described Ghavami as a prisoner of conscience, calling for her to be released - a demand that  ​over 700,000 petition-signers appear to endorse.

We're All Doomed
IF WE DON'T CUT CARBON EMISSIONS NOW WE'RE FUCKED
​According to a new UN report

A power plant in Arizona (Photo ​v​ia)

Global warming is already "unequivocally" happening, and action must be taken now to avoid further catastrophic effects, a report from the UN's Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) warned on Sunday.

The report said that climate change has already increased the occurrence of extreme weather and says that much worse is to come, including droughts, violent conflicts and food and water shortages.

However, the authors of the report also said that all of this could still be avoided if carbon emissions were dramatically reduced.

Rajendra Pachauri, chair of the IPCC, said: "We have the means to limit climate change… the solutions are many and allow for continued economic and human development. All we need is the will to change."

Gnarly Bro
​A MAN WENT SURFING ON A DEAD WHALE SURROUNDED BY SHARKS
​"It was definitely a stupid act," said the man

​(Thumbnail via ​​Surf Life Saving WA)

On Saturday, a man in Perth, Australia jumped from a boat onto a dead humpback whale, despite the fact it was surrounded by sharks.

Speaking to local news afterwards, 26-year-old Harrison Williams said, "I was out on a boat with the boys, and one of them said it would be pretty funny if I surfed a whale, so I just did it."

As funny as it was, he did admit that flirting with a potential shark attack isn't a great idea: "It was definitely a stupid act, but I didn't mean any disrespect to anyone. Mum thinks I'm an idiot, and dad isn't too proud either," he said.

Williams had earlier told Daily Mail Australia that he'd jumped on the clearly dead whale because it looked like it was "in distress", and I guess he thought that clambering all over it would help.

Regardless, his days of whale surfing are now firmly behind him: "I've done it; I don't need to do it again," he said.