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Vice Blog

MELBOURNE - EOM MIA (EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH MISSING IN ACTION)

This is where our editorial assistant, Jon, normally sits, and quite frankly, where he should be sitting today writing things down for us. Given the text message we received from him at 7 AM this morning though, we're pretty confident we're not going to see him today. Possibly not ever again. Here's what it said: "Er, I just had a moment of clarity. I'm wearing a mini skirt and knee pads and a wig and a double-long gambling visor heading to the country in the back of a stranger's van with a 37-year-old Burmese man I met in Hungry Jacks 5 hours ago. Some guy with red hair is driving but there's a lot of acid going around." We haven't heard from him since (we can only imagine what kind of attention a wasted seven-foot-tall dude in drag is attracting) but will be sure to give you an update if and when we do. On the bright side, at least he's finally making some friends outside the office.