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Julie: Well, one year my parents got me 12 cans of Italian Meatball Soup, straight out of Costco. They decided that this was a "practical" gift because I was in my first year of university and I was living in residence at the time.Isn't it the thought that counts?
Like I wanted to eat the exact same kind of gross soup for the entire month of January. I don't know, it was really stupid.






That's really lame, Craig. Haven't you ever gotten a shitty gift before?
I don't know, I guess that's like getting socks for Christmas or something? Actually, this one time I went to visit my mom in Holland where she was living at the time, and I was really excited because she did my laundry. I was marveling at how clean it was and I noticed my iPod shuffle was attached to the collar of my sweater and I was like, "My mom is awesome! She even re-attached my iPod!" But then I realized she actually just washed it with my clothes and ruined it. To get you in the true spirit of the holiday season, why don't you tell me the worst holiday experience you've ever had?
Carrie: My worst holiday experience? Well, I guess it was the worst ever when I ACTUALLY got a lump of fucking coal in my stocking because I broke my curfew. You must have been pretty late.
I don't know, not really. My parents just thought it was funny. It kind of is. What is the most abysmal holiday memory you can think of that's ever happened to you?
Paul: I don't want to be a part of this. I love the holidays. You should ask Casey, she hates them. Nah, you probably have had something shitty happen. Think about it.
Well, actually yeah. I was 5 or 6 but I remember this perfectly because it was so traumatizing. My family and I were all decorating the tree, you know, all in our pajamas, the festive music going, cocoa and stuff. My mom got the ladder and put it up to the huge tree so she could put the angel on top. My family is extremely Macedonian, so imagine all those creepy looking saint icons in the church with the huge halos and the weird hand gestures--that's what our angel looked like. It was made of tin and about 1 foot tall and weighed 10 lbs. She went to put it on and the ladder fell out from under her and she and the entire tree fell straight over, crushing all the presents. I started crying because I thought that meant Santa wasn't going to come and Christmas was ruined. See, that sucks. What about you, Holiday hater?
Casey: Ew. One time my Grandma thought it was a good idea to give me all this stuff with tacky-ass cats all over. Like sweaters and pictures and stuff. It was bizarre because I grew up so afraid of cats. She had this devil cat that attacked me all the time and I hated it so much. I don't know why she gave me that stuff. She was probably fucking with you. Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Brent: If it's about the hair, the answer is it's real. Yeah that was my initial question. But also, what's the worst holiday memory you have?
Well, to be honest I barely ever remember the holidays because I get so faced. One time over the holidays when I was in Jersey I got drunk and got on a motorcycle with friends. I woke up on Christmas Day alone in a hotel but I wasn't in Jersey, I was in Ohio and I don't remember how I got there or why I was even there at all. What's one holiday memory you wish you didn't have?
Ryan: Well, I do a lot of traveling. One time, I was in London over the holidays and I spent Christmas in jail because I didn't have proper car insurance. It was bullshit.


I went to court a few days later and since I spent the time in Jail they relieved all my charges. What's your most depressing holiday memory?
Craig: Oh. One time, my Mom got my Dad this terrible leather vest. It was so ugly I couldn't believe it. Your dad in leather ruined your holiday?
Yeah. For a moment I thought he was going to wear it right then. He waited a bit but he definitely put it on and made a heavy rotation of it. It was fucked. Not cool. What's your worst holiday memory?
Aaron: Well, I have this unhealthy and absurd obsession with video games. I was really hoping to get the most current and cutting edge system of the time, which was Super Nintendo. I totally kissed ass and tried my best to be a good kid and honestly, I didn't even steal change from my parents for candy once. I was certain I'd get this console. Christmas morning came around and I went to open my gift but it was pitifully small. I was pissed. I opened it and low and behold It was like some stupid Polly Pocket but for dudes. Mighty Max or something like that. You're pretty ungrateful.
Yeah. It sucked. That's why I drink a lot now.