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Vice Blog

THE GREAT CHRISTMAS SWINDLE

Is there anything more sickening than watching publications 69ing their advertisers under the auspices of "gift guides" and "year-end lists" and "movie reviews" this time of year? Incest, possibly, but that's about it. After years of picking up Holiday issues of other people's magazines and saying things like "Ugh" "Gross" "Blargh" "Disgusting" "Can you believe this shit?" "Oh jeez, check out this crap" "Heh,

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one is actually pretty cool" "Yargh" and "Uh-… uhgh--oh god, rrrrrrglarch!" this year we finally said "Us too." Don't get the wrong idea, there's some straight editorial in there about how it's lame to try to make Hanukkah "cool" and why Santa Clause isn't a good horror villain, but the better part of it is just gift guide after gift guide after gift guide. What separates our guide from the pack is the fact that all of our selected gifts are made by scab-eating crusties who can't pay their rent and massive heartless corporations who would never advertise with us in a million years. That way you know it's heartfelt. Oh and also we divided it up into different categories of gift recipients so that you'll know what to get your friends if you're friends with people who are girls or zine-nerds or regular nerds or boys and you are not one of these things yourself. Also, the funny. If it helps just think of it as a mini second edition of the Tidbits Issue, minus all the racist stuff. Anyhew, the December Fiction Issue gets in next week and will be pummeling your brain well into January. In the meantime, why not treat it to the

Vice Guide to the Holidays

. New daily features will be on the homepage every day, though if you want to spoil it for yourself by cramming it all down in one go, you can do that

here

. Also, if you are a wealthy product-maker and like what we said about your crap, please contact erik@viceland.com for a rate card.