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Vice Blog

J. BEIBZ VS SADE

Last night they played the whole of J. Biebz - "U Smile 800% Slower", Shamantis' ambient nightmare remix of Justin Bieber's hot hot hit, at White Heat in London. While it's good and funny and all that, is it as good and funny as the classic chopped and screwed version of Sade's lounge-grope hot hot hit "Smooth Operator"? Compare and contrast beneath.

J. Biebz - "U Smile 800% Slower"

[audio: http://viceland-assets-cdn.vice.com/music/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/usmileambient.mp3]

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The internet has got very excited about how this sounds "like Sigur Ros" (18-22-year-old Pitchfork readers), "totally Brian Eno" (18-23-year-old Pitchfork readers), or "just like The Gulag Soundclash's second album, in fact, I think this actually is just ripped straight from it!" (smug, lying obscurists). While it's pretty neat, I don't think it's nearly as unsettling as this…

Sade - "Smooth Operator (chopped and screwed)"

[audio: http://viceland-assets-cdn.vice.com/music/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/10-smooth-operater.mp3]

Yes it's more subtle, yes it sounds less like something that could have been on a Rollercoaster Project album, but, every time Prancehall puts it on the stereo at Vice, I have a panic attack. That's the sign of good music.

NASTY NICK