Welcome to the second part of the Hunx and his Punkettes tour odyssey. Today's installment concerns bare feet, marital exercise aids, and only limited incidents of piss play.HUNX AND THE PUNKETTES DAY TWO - SAN DIEGOWe lit up a joint in the van on the way to San Diego. Everyone got the giggles, the girls were trying to tickle my feet, and I realized that being on the road with the Punkettes is like taking a long car trip with four horny aunts. We're touring with our bass player Shannon's other band Shannon and the Clams. They're fantastic and their guitar player Cody is a fox who plays with no socks and no shoes. I think maybe I could sell these shots to a foot fetish guy. Wait, I'm the foot fetish guy!We pulled out our Jungle Looks for tonight. It definitely didn't give off the same vibe as it does when we dress up like grandmas. My ensemble consisted of not one but two Fredericks of Hollywood pieces, (a black g-string and animal print negligee over it). Both from thrift stores of course. I don't care about getting other people's bits on my bits--people are so uptight!Our manager Brande is really good at makeup. I live for her endless new ideas on how to wear eyebrows. I constantly wanna copy her sooooo bad!Thanks to vodka, kalua, beer, and peach schnapps, we were paying for all kindsa stuff on the jukebox (ABBA, Iggy, etc) and no one realised that it actually wasn't working. Bye bye, gas money!Outside I kissed a guy named Squid who looked like a sexy teenage lesbian and was rumored to be the owner of an 11-inch dick. If that ain't sexy, I don't know what is. Earlier some guy followed me into the bathroom and started peeing next to me, but he got pee shy so he just kissed me instead.After the show we ended up at this hot skater guy Jesse's house. We played spin-the-bottle but whenever the spin lined up a good male-to-male pair all the straight guys would be like, "I'm not playing." That's such a pet peeve of mine, if you can't handle kissing another guy, don't play! I mean I'm not that into kissing girls but I'm not above a practice fuck with one of my bandmates.This weight-lifting infomercial kept coming on the TV and I wanted one so bad I took a picture of the TV. They're the dumbbells that you jiggle so it looks like you are jacking off when you use em. Hello, buff body. Hello, Jesse.I don't know what happened next, but suddenly our roadie Gossip Boy was giving me a Gay Triangle tattoo and Jesse was getting a Hunx tattoo. At least I didn't get a "Jesse's Girl" tattoo, though I did seriously think about it. Jesse had told me I could cuddle him in his bed later that night, (which gave me my second boner of tour - SCHWING!), but when it came down to it, I slept in his bed and he slept on the couch. Even though I begged. Oh well, at least I left some pink eye on his pillow. Miss U, Jesse.HUNX
Advertisement
Advertisement
