It's 2016, which means there is an overwhelming number of exciting gadgets you can put your junk into if you want a good time, including spandex diapers and robot vaginas, but one teenager was so bored or desperate that he attempted to fool around with a power tool, resulting in predictable consequences.
In what can only logically be interpreted as an attempt at recreating a dance bit from Magic Mike XXL, an Australian 19-year-old wound up getting his balls entangled in a handheld electrical grinder Friday, the Daily Telegraph reports. (Apparently young people actually do want to fuck, they just don't know what to do sex with.)
This story ends as happily as it could: Paramedics arrived, and the tool-loving teen was taken to a nearby hospital and is currently in stable condition.
Photo via Flickr user John Morgan