This story is over 5 years old.


The Entire World Is Now Trolling the Golden State Warriors, Losers of Four Straight Games

It only took one game and now everyone hates the Warriors.
Photo by Kyle Terada-USA TODAY Sports

In this, our rancorous divisive political year of 2016, there is one majestic theme unifying us across these here United States: the Golden State Warriors, losers of four games in a row by a 15.5-point margin, have gone from "Greatest Team on the Basketball Gods' Green Earth" to "America's Favorite Whipping Boy."

The summer of J.R. Smith's shining torso and non-stop "that time the Cavs came back down 3-1 against the 73-9 regular season Warriors" riffs was wonderful, but last night's NBA kickoff, featuring the newest Dub with MVP hardware, meant it was time to reset the trolling game clock, right? Adding Kevin Durant means the Warriors are going to steamroll the league, so there goes all the communal fun at the Dubs expense?


Not so fast, dick-punchers.

Getting blown out at home by 29 points to the Spurs in your first appearance since blowing that 3-1 lead? At home? The mockery shall go on unabated, or at least until the Warriors win four in a row. Yeah, that sounds about as likely as some random dude paying $100 just to get a NBA tryout going all LeBron on the unanimous NBA MVP. (Hold that thought.)

Do you, like so many hoopheads, take malicious joy in the misfortunes of others so long as they're wearing a Golden State jersey? Then have we got some Dubs Opening Night Schadenfreude for you! The last 24 hours have been nothing short of spectacular. Let's get the first take from First Take, which one game into the season wants to know:

POLL: Has Kevin Durant made the Warriors worse?
— First Take (@FirstTake) October 26, 2016

The best part? With 12,000-plus votes in, it's only 53%-47% in favor of KD, whose lone Warriors effort saw him lead the team with 27 points on 11-of-18 from the field. So good, so good.

It makes total basketball sense, though. As renowned NBA scholar Charles Barkley posited yesterday, Durant isn't as good as teammate Klay Thompson—who is also better than teammate Steph Curry. Only a Hall of Famer understands how the third, possibly fourth option on offense who has never won a MVP is better than two of the five best players on the planet. (Shaq agrees!) TBH, I think Barkley is wrong. Patrick McCaw is better than Klay, who is obviously better than Steph and KD.


Apropos of nothing, Pop popped off about piss and Steve Kerr. To hell with context. Here's the goods from Ann Killion, of the San Francisco Chronicle:


Popovich on if he still gives Kerr advice: "I hate Steve Kerr. If he asks me anything I tell him to go urinate in a bucket."
— Ann Killion (@annkillion) October 26, 2016


Steve Kerr really might urinate in a bucket after this.
— Ann Killion (@annkillion) October 26, 2016

Before the Warriors took the floor for their Spurs flogging, their arch-nemesis Cleveland Cavaliers got their championship rings. Lean in, look close, and yessir! There it is! The "that time the Cavs came back down 3-1 against the 73-9 regular season Warriors" riff spelled out in diamonds.

24-karat 3-1 trolling right there… (via Richard Jefferson's snapchat)
— Tommy Beer (@TommyBeer) October 26, 2016

After the soulful trollful jewelry was handed out, the Cavs throttled the Knicks 117-88 behind LeBron's 19/11/14 triple-double, Kyrie's 29 points, and throwdowns like this one, redolent of a certain 2016 NBA Finals performance:

Oh my. #CavsKnicks
— Cleveland Cavaliers (@cavs) October 26, 2016

Ah, but here's an even better Finals facsimile, as literal/figurative Spur out-of-nowhere Jonathan Simmons—he of the aforementioned C-note—makes like the King on this routine Steph Curry layup. #BarkleysAbsolutelyRightKlaysBetter!

To put an exclamation point on just how bad the Warriors are at basketball, Simmons dialed up another 'Bron and hammered one on JaVale McGee.

Wait? Golden State brought in McGee to take minutes that once belonged to Andrew Bogut and Festus Ezeil? Have you no decency, Dubs? Clearly, there's nothing left to say about perpetual losers the Golden State Warriors.