Welcome to Under a Hundo, where your faithful VICE editors find the best versions of anything and everything you're desperately seeking—all for under $100. Whether it’s fancy knives, instant-vacation-vibes patio furniture, or suspiciously underpriced ghost-hunting equipment, we’ve got your thrifty needs covered.
As we unthaw our spring personas, we’re ISO a change of scenery for our outdoor spaces. Meaning, everything from that one part of the fire escape that gets good afternoon light, to the corner of your (or your quar bud’s) patio, backyard, or roof that could use a bit of zhuzh.
Unfortunately, this XXL mid-century modern outdoor orgy bed is going to have to wait, as our paychecks can only be stretched so far beyond, well, paying rent. But that doesn’t mean we have to settle for (bad) cheap patio furniture, or a stale ambiance as we redecorate our outdoor spaces for spring. Yes, it’s certainly an exercise in positive thinking, but dreams of COVID-safe BBQs and epic dinner parties bring us hope during the final days of freezing temps. That’s why we’ve given ourselves the challenge of finding the best cheap patio decor for under $100 that looks like a million bucks, or at least just makes the yard look less feral.
Perhaps you’re in need of new planters (or just plants? Thisaway, PLS), or a stain-tolerant outdoor rug that brings a wavy optic energy to your solo hacky sack seshes (hot). Maybe you want something minimalist and bright for your porch, or perhaps you’d like your backyard to have all the cursed horniness of a 1990s Olive Garden smoking patio? You bring the White Claw, and we’ll bring the string lights.
A mid-century modern chair set
We’re picturing these beauties on a bunch of flagstone tiles in a minimalist villa, beside an olive tree, under the Tuscan (or Atascadero!) sun. They’re doing the most without doing much, which we love.
Cover up that crusty fence! This is very much the kitsch backyard patio, tiki bar-adjacent, mini-golf faux greenery fantasy we have been looking for. It’s a classic. Just think about how nice these plastique vines will look under the light of your camera’s flash, FR.
A chic flying saucer for your pothos, cacti, and whatever else isn’t dead (congrats, grad), we especially dig this as way to fill your area with more green (or candles, or Bratz Dolls, do you) without taking up more foot space.
The stain-tolerant everywhere rug
Intended for indoor or outdoor use, this rug is by some company named Lubbers which makes us like it 20 percent more than the pre-existing one-hundred. What’s not to dig about a marbled floor situation? Spill all you want over this bad boy. Plus, it reminds us of the trippy rocks of Canyon Point, Utah.
This is your beer commercial now
If a yard doesn’t have string lights, does it even exist? According to one of our writers who owns these, this weatherproof set can withstand a hurricane…
… While another staff writer says these stringlights survived an entire winter (snow included) on their fire escape.
Flame-free candle lanterns
One of the best combos, especially if you’re too lazy to work with string lights. Just place a self-timed faux-flame candle inside a vibey lantern to give off light, and make the yard insantly more atmospheric.
We will die on a chill lawn chair
Happily. There is nothing that says, “I am chafing my thighs and throwing back Nathan’s without a care in the world” like a solid ass lawn chair, which your family has made you drag into the car from a day at the lake/beach/sidewalk for years, and which you will now force you quar pod/vaxxed circle to drag in as well.
Wipe your feet and stay a while
We’d be happy to kick off our clogs on these mats before entering your backyard oasis. They establish the vibe, and keep you from trailing schmutz everywhere.
Hold my drink
There’s nothing more S T R E S S than having an outdoor space with plenty of chairs, but no surfaces. It’s borderline culty, which we’re kind of into on the one hand, but at the end of the ten-thousand hour day we favor a charming side table that can weather the seasons, and hold our coffee (and other gorgeous coffee accouterments).
Evolve thine terracotta tastes
While we love the classic Mr. McGregor terracotta pot, our eyes have been staring at the exact. Same. Ones. For many years now. This planter by Cost Plus World Market is of the same ilk, but a tad of swirlyness and a little bit more an “apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur” silhouette, while Areaware’s stacking planter cuts a whimsical silhouette.
Because your biopic needs a floor-makeover scene
The image of a Jovial Low-Key Hot Person tossing back their hair, and throwing down new tile is pivotal to the development of every home makeover movie, including yours. These wood slats will cover up the stain in the spot of the accident that happened that no one in your friend group is allowed to talk about.
No bananas in these hammocks
Hammocks are back, baby—and doesn’t this one just shout “rather be napping?” The pros: It’s lightweight and comes fully assembled. The cons: You may end up neglecting all of your other indoor and outdoor furniture.
You don’t need a Nancy Meyers gazebo to stay cool—just a smartly positioned umbrella or shade sail.
See you at the BBQ, jabroni.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story.