Damn, Jimothee. One day, you’re twirling through NYC’s fire hydrants in 90-degree temps, and the next, the weather gods have gone full PSL, Christian Girl Autumn on your ass; the air has dipped to a chilly 50-something, the leaves are dying, and The Big Sad creeps in your window, ‘cause now gets dark before 7 PM. The audacity.
That’s not to say we aren’t jazzed to be decking out our house in peak autumnal decor and chugging PSL lube. We just like throwing tantrums, because we are baby. And you know what baby needs on this inaugural fall week? Sweet, savory dealsdealsdeals on a bunch of goods that will make staying indoors better, and going outside bearable, even for the softest of summer children.
We sniffed out a bunch of the best deals this week to juice you with serotonin, from luxury sex toys to rowing machines; magical mattresses, silk pillowcases, and a robo-feeder that will pamper your cat.
A best-selling exercise bike for pedalin’ to your heart’s content
It’s about to get cold out there, so the idea of building our own at-home gym and emerging in the spring like a serotonin-boosted butterfly is getting more and more appealing. We mean it [chugs milk in bathrobe]. That’s why we found an exercise bike on sale that can actually fit in our railroad-style apartment like the YOSUDA, which has over 15,000 reviews and a 4.4 star rating on Amazon. This swole machine is easy to assemble, doesn’t wobble, has an iPad mount, and “You can adjust the resistance easily,” writes one reviewer; “I [also] like [that] it records the distance, time, and calories I burnt every day. Good for a starter like me =).”
Lora DiCarlo's high-tech sex toys are on big-time sale
In Lora We Trust, baby. This women-founded and -owned sexual wellness company has only been around a few years, but in that time it’s pioneered high quality sex toys that experts (i.e., sex workers) and plebian masturbators alike love. Even the brand’s founder (Lora, duhh) has fought for sexual wellness destigmatization at the CES annual technology trade show by lobbying for sex tech to be a recognized as an official floor show category. These luxury sex toys are worth the higher price tag for their great design and usability, but right now Ella Paradis has them on serious promo. If you’re in the market for a new ride-or-die toy, don’t miss out. Our top picks: the Baci, which mimics a skillful mouth to deliver the sensation of receiving really good oral, and the Filare, which uses dual stimulation to gradually build a truly insane clitoral orgasm experience.
This top mattress from Tuft & Needle is 15% off
The way I see it, mattresses are like marriages. You’ll probably only have a few in your lifetime, so you gotta pick ‘em well. Every once in a while, a mattress brand like Tuft & Needle, the lords of plush, the slingers of non-toxic, “Adaptive Foam” that you can sink into, will put a cult-fave mattress on-sale. In that moment, you shoot your shot before they’re sold-out. “Our foam is more advanced than outdated materials such as latex and memory foam,” explains T&N about their mattress, which kind of inflates like one of those yellow sponges once it gets water on it (capiche??) upon arrival. Anyways. The Adaptive Foam helps pull away heat by using cooling graphite and gel beads instead, and is all wrapped-up in a breathable plush cover to help keep you cool. The mattress runs on the firmer side, and over 15,000 Amazon reviewers, including some Very Tall Lads, agree: It makes waking up and going to bed really rad.
A robo feeder that will stop your cat from incessantly whining
If you haven't gotten your pet a robo feeder yet, what are you doing? The days of begrudgingly scooping several times a day for your beloved Scottish Fold are so very over, pal. Automatic feeders are a game-changer, and this one from PETLIBRO, in addition to being super highly rated for its array of features and high-quality design and construction, will look right at home with your other fancy tech. It even has an indicator that tells you when it's low on kibble, and the option to record a 10-second message that plays when the food is dispensed.
Reebok's mega sale on athleisure wear
From now until October 8, you can get up to 60 percent off Reebok’s apparel with code APPAREL (durrrr) at checkout. A welcome dealio, now that it’s officially the season for becoming a cozy, human couch burrito in fresh joggers and hoodies. Time to load up on sweats.
It's still socks-and-sandals season, baby
Hold the goddamn phone, dude. Much like the platypus, this shoe is an aesthetic combination we didn’t know we needed from The Almighty; It’s a sandal that’s at once classic Suicoke, which is a cult Japanese sandal brand beloved for its high-performance, high-comfort designs, and smart menswear king John Elliott—oh yes, that's a collab. The next two-ish months (or, forever, if you live in LA) are peak sock and sandal weather, so jump on it.
A tooth-whitening kit that has top-tier results
Have you also not been to a dentist ever since… since? Yeah. No worries. Especially during ThEse sTranGe aNd uNcerTaIn TiMes, one can just virtually show their pearly-ish whites to vetted tele-dentists at places like SmileDirectClub, which is having a 20% off sale from October 1–8. Just use the code SMILE20 at checkout on products like the Teeth Whitening Kit, NEW Travel Kit, Smile Spa, Electric Toothbrush, and more, and get those chompers chomping. Check out all the A+++ reviews for before and after pix… we love to see 'em.
This cult-fave silk pillowcase
You ever laid your sleepy peepers to rest on a chinchilla wrapped in a cloud wrapped in the hug of the mother you never had, but deserved? Then you must own a Blissy. Silk pillowcases are the latest wellness/beauty trend, with folks saying that the soft weave keeps their hair soft and frizz-less, and their skin less schvitzy, and Blissy makes one of the best on on the market, hands down; it’s pure mulberry silk, yet somehow still machine-washable. A true October miracle.
The Peloton of rowing machines
Back in the big-time doomsday era of quarantine, we drooled over high-tech home fitness equipment, wishing we could bring the gym home and pump up the jams without having to step foot on another grimy 24 Hour Fitness elliptical machine again. Now, we're still looking for ways to keep it right 'n' tight from home, and the Hydrow is one of our all-time most coveted pieces of equipment. The brand's rowing machine's offer one of the relaxing experiences you can get while also shredding a full body workout, simulating the feeling of rowing in water through a patented electromagnetic drag system and creating an immersive experience thanks to the large high-def touchscreen. As part of their fall deal, you can get $150 off any Hydrow rower package through October 3.
Flannel bedding for sleeping in all winter long
We love cozy season, yes we do; we love cozy season, how about you? We're lighting the pine-scented candles, getting some crackles going in the fireplace, and readying the mulled wine. We need the bedding to match—something flannel, something that will quell our existential angst and make us feel like we're in the ending of Home Alone. So we're hyped to see that a bunch of bedding is on sale at West Elm, including this flannel herringbone set that's ridiculously soft while having the bonus effect of making your bed look ~*~adult~*~.
See you next week for fresh, silky deals.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story.