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BOGOTA - EXPOSICION DE LOS HOMBRECITOS

Of course, leave it to somewhere like Colombia to take a premise like the Hunterian, divest it of every last shred of good taste, then throw in a healthy dollop of self-righteousness and plop the thing down in the middle of a hooker slum for good measure. This yawny little guy is one of the marquee features at Exposición El Hombre (Exposition of the Guy), a museum of pre-natal oopsies conveniently located next to a pediatric clinic in the heart of Bogota's bustling red-light district. (Sorry for the overload of Bizarre materials here on the blog today, but sometimes, as Prince wrote, it's just another Fetus Wednesday.)

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"We are talking about life through dead babies," is the museum's chirpy, to-the-point slogan (it sounds better in Spanish). The Exposición was started in the 70s by the neighboring clinic's resident doctor, Alfredo Leon Fernandez, to help warn the city's streetwalkers about the dangers of freebasing coke while pregnant, fucking your first cousin, and abortion. We're not exactly sure how that last one works, because if we thought for a second we were going to squeeze out anything like the museum's exhibits we'd be on the phone in the lobby booking an appointment to vacuum the baby's room. The museum's other intended scares are slightly more effective than the whole pro-life angle they try to push. The red guy here was born with Harlequin Icthyosis (the second word is latin for "fishification"), a rare genetic condition generally brought on by generations of heavy inbreeding. As the museum's placard was quick to point out though, the fact that the mother was also on ecstasy for pretty much the entirety of pregnancy probably didn't help matters a whole bunch. But, hey, at least she won't have to shell out for a new pacifier any time soon, am I right, people? Am I right? Hoo boy… Unfortunately in the years since its founding, the museum's surrounding neighborhood has gone from generally shitty to a lawless "police tolerance zone" for junkies and prostitutes, driving down attendance figures. In an effort to re-stoke local interest, Dr. Fernandez's daughter Melba, who now oversees the daily operations of the museum, has taken the exposición on the road, setting up weekend kiosks with a few of her favorite pieces from the collection in the city's major shopping centers. "Someone has to educate our children" she explained, seemingly oblivious to the fact that the lesson most kids are taking away is how to have some of the worst nightmares in recorded human history. Keep up the good work, Melba.

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