With the understanding that most animals are nothin’ but a bunch of dirty, dirty dogs, the Natural History Museum of Oslo has created an exhibition called "Against Nature" that’s enough to make the Church of Euthanasia blush with envy and maybe horniness. The exhibition is full of stuffed animals, models, and photos of animals in flagrant delicto and expressing very little interest in procreating, which is the standard scientific explanation for why both people and animals like to fuck. Zoologist Petter Bockman did all the research for the exhibition and as a result now knows a lot of things about blowhole blowjobs, fetal murder orgies, and deer in drag. We agree that he’s got a really good name for the job.Vice: Petter, what’s you’re deal?
Petter Bockman: I’m actually the leading expert in frogs and toads in Norway. OK, there are some in Trondheim‚Ķ but at least I’d say I’m the best in Oslo. And the only.Cool, I’ve got a frog question: Are those tree frogs people claim to trip from licking for real or BS?
Ah, yes the frog lickers. They’ll give you a mother of a headache, shake the hell out of your central nervous system and as a bonus, give you explosive diarrhea. But also some hallucinations. There are much easier, albeit illegal, ways of achieving that. Some folks will try anything though.OK, but you’re not just a frog guy, you’ve also done this exhibition on all sorts of animals fucking. How did that happen?
My boss came up with the idea when he heard some minister going on about how homosexuality was unnatural. He’d done a lot of research in the sexual morphology of fungus gnats and knew that it was a total lie. I did most of the research for this exhibition, which meant sitting in a bunch dusty attics looking at funny pictures. To be honest we were really concerned the Dutch would beat us to it. They have gay zoo tours.How was it received here? Norway is pretty notorious in the rest of Scandinavia as a bastion of Christianity‚Ķ
Norway on whole is pretty secular, but there are some crazy groups, like Pentecostal, shamanistic Christian sects who elect women as "physical brides of Christ" and stuff. But no, we were expecting a flood of anger, but I could count the bad responses on one hand. So, animals are into weird raunchy sex? This whole thing reminds me of Ricky Gervais’s "Animals" skit, where he makes fun of the drawings in some book with a bird on the cover.
Is it this book? [Holds up the book, and flips to a page containing scandalous ape photos]. Ah, the Bonobo. This species is amazing, the horniest bastards in the world, easily. They solve all social problems with sex, there is no fighting for resources or mates—they are true supporters of the "make love, not war" agenda. They have huge sexual orgies starting from an early age, those with the largest network of partners being the highest in society. Sex is their social glue, and fairly homosexual glue at that.OK, but here’s what’s always nagged at us when people say animals can be gay—are they gay like gay people are gay, or is it more a long-sea-voyage, any-hole-will-do sort of gay? Like are there really males out in the wild who will only screw other males, and are they more effeminate than other males?
In some species, like flamingos, yes. Actually though, in most cases male homosexuality in nature is more represented of the "bear" type, with increased masculinity and aggression.Is there a bear community within the bear community?
Interestingly enough, no, there has been no evidence of homosexuality among bears. They are way too antisocial, if they meet other bears—if they do they will fight, or if the female is in heat, fuck.That’s not so exciting.
True. But take the Big Horned Sheep then—these are big, burly rams, right? After mating season, all the females will retreat to the valley and the males form a gentlemen’s club in the hills having lots of anal sex. This is the norm. There are some males who don’t really enjoy anal sex, but they’re in the minority and generally go hang with the girls. But those minority rams are largely asexual, and won’t even mate with the females come sex season.So the ones who don’t like it up the ass are the girly ones. Weird. What about lesbians?
There are reports of female chimps who hang out with the males, and mate with the females. They’re usually pretty butch.What makes animals gay?
We just don’t know anything about sexuality, really. It might be genetic, and environmental. We don’t know in humans, so how do we know about animals? The only solid "thing" we have is that if you have lots of older brothers there is an ever so slightly higher chance of being homosexual, for males. And nearly all research into homosexuality has been done on human males, and in Holland. And on rams. Farmers have known about domestic animal homosexuality for millennia, it’s normal. In Australia there have even been attempts stamp out homosexuality in sheep, with a "patch" that’s meant to make them hetero. But it just makes them sick instead. It’s pretty silly really—animal rights and gay rights groups got involved, save the gay sheep, et cetera. I don’t see why we should deny them their natural urges.Religion doesn’t account for homosexuality, that’s a given, but science doesn’t either. Reproduction is meant to be the biological driving force of life, and hence sex. But homosexual behavior isn’t exactly great for reproduction.
When you’re having sex, are you thinking of babies? I find babies deeply un-sexual. They poo and cry. How many times do you have sex in your life? How many times out of that are you trying to have babies? It’s a tiny percentage. Sex isn’t about reproduction, it’s a social thing. Homosexual sex is no different.OK, but as social as gay sex is, the species still needs to survive, right?
That’s the thing with survival. One explanation might be this: For an animal to "reproduce," sex is only the halfway point. The offspring have to survive, and then reproduce in turn. For this to happen, the species needs a stable community. Homosexuality, while not reproductive, may play a stabilizing role in an animal community. Between 20 to 30% of lion prides have two males sharing the head, who have sex with each other. It’s a normal, stabilizing sexual element, and leads to a stronger pride.Ha, gay pride!
With Bonobo chimps, a strictly heterosexual chimp will fall out of the community, it won’t get enough food, it will have no friends, no social network. Married couples have sex thousands of times—not to have thousands of babies, but to keep the couple together so they can better raise the child. In a lot of these examples though, the homosexuality is periodical, they still mate with the opposite sex.OK, that’s sort of what we were getting at before—it’s an opportunistic thing. Are there any examples of animals who are solely and permanently gay?
There are a good deal of animals who are bound for life, and that includes gay couples too. When forced apart they exhibit grief by doing things like not eating. Particularly in birds, breeding is difficult as once a pair is established you cannot separate them—they’re married. Orange-Fronted Parakeets have a 50% homosexual-pairing rate in captivity. The King Penguin shows 1 in 5 couples being homo. But, for the most part, animals are notoriously unfaithful, they change sexual partners like you and me change underpants.So homosexuality isn’t unnatural. But just because something happens in nature doesn’t mean it’s a-ok. Rape is natural, but that doesn’t make it cool to do if you’re a human. (PS: It isn’t.)
Infanticide as well. It’s a good point, and it’s totally not what we’re saying. Some animals have sex while in their mother’s womb and then eat their way out of her skin. Doesn’t mean we should try it. It’s not an exhibition about ethics, it’s about how homosexuality isn’t "unnatural." It varies in every species. Some aren’t homosexual at all. We just want to show that there is natural variation, and so we shouldn’t be surprised if it occurs in humans—and that it can even be a beneficial social element. In tribal societies, with bones in the noses and stuff, homosexuality is a ritualized thing. They might greet each other by shaking penises instead of hands. In ancient times, it was evidently rife. In "masculine" Sparta, homosexuality in both women and men was common, even pederasty was fine. If society permitted, homosexuality would probably be a norm. Only 3 to 5% of people actually admit to being gay. A lot of humans are asexual. Seriously. A large amount of stupid, ugly and/or socially incompetent people do not have, and will never have, sex.INTERVIEW BY OSCAR HEDSTR√ñMWeb Bonus! Petter’s Top 9 Most Far Out Gay AnimalsHyenas
"Aristotle thought the entire species was made up of hermaphroditic males, because the females are seriously butch. They have more testosterone than the males, their clitoris is bigger than the male’s penis, and their labia are so big and floppy they look like balls. They are very active with their genitals, lots of female-on-female butt sniffing/munching. The males are the punier sex in every way. The only thing making them female to a traditionalist human eyes is the fact they bear living young."Orangutans
"Male orangutans can suck in their penis so that there’s a cavity and other males can have sex with them. Clever. Orangutan females have also been found to fashion dildos. Most mammals have tiny genitals, comparatively, and generally the males of a give species will have some sort of bone in their penis. Humans are weird in that sense‚Ķ who the hell thought up an inflatable penis?"Boton ‚Äì Amazon River Dolphins
"These guys are pretty inventive. ‚ÄòDon’t have a soft mouth? That’s cool, I’ll stick it in your blow hole. You can’t breath? OK, we’ll do it blow, break, blow, break.’
They are the happiest animals in the world. They are intelligent, social, and have a great sex life irrelevant to breeding seasons. Group sex, too. And with other species! There’s nothing these dudes won’t try."Common Hooded Gulls
"In Hooded Gull colonies, up to 20% of the birds are same sex couples nesting together. Two males will chase the female away and keep the eggs. The same happens with Black Swans in Australia, where it really pays off to be homo. The eggs looked after by male pairs have a 10 times higher survival rate than those tended by hetero breeders. The gay males alternate which one gets to fertilize a female every year so that it’s fair. By pairing up they can keep more territory, which means more food. Being single means death. Animals incapable of homosexual bonding are actually disadvantaged in the wild."Bonobos
"Nature’s horn dogs. Bonobos have been caught doing pretty much everything. There is great picture of two young males, one of them hanging upside down, 69ing with the biggest grins on their faces. And females rubbing genitals too, scissor-style. Bonobo can and will bone anyone anyhow anywhere."Walrus
"These guys somehow get each other off by slapping their penises with their flippers. Male walruses are periodically homo. As long as it’s not mating season, it’s orgies offshore."House Mice
"I just have to tell you about this one time I caught a mouse in my house, right, and he was beating off! In my kitchen!" Vice: Are you sure he wasn’t just cleaning himself? "No, he ejaculated!"Blacktail Deer
"This is the drag queen of animal planet. There is a male hormonal condition that causes some to become infertile. When this happens they don’t shed their antlers, which will grow massive and become covered in shiny velvet and get these bumps all over them so that the whole package ends up looking like a crown. They even develop glossier fur and get bigger bigger than normal males. They’re into straight males, and here we see the only example of animal intolerance to homosexuality in the natural world. Straight deer hate the queens, and chase them off."Giraffes
"94% of all sexual action (including gestures like neck-fondling) in giraffe society occurs between males. This is because the females are boring. Female mammals are usually boring, and not as interested in sex. Something about having babies I guess."
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Petter Bockman: I’m actually the leading expert in frogs and toads in Norway. OK, there are some in Trondheim‚Ķ but at least I’d say I’m the best in Oslo. And the only.Cool, I’ve got a frog question: Are those tree frogs people claim to trip from licking for real or BS?
Ah, yes the frog lickers. They’ll give you a mother of a headache, shake the hell out of your central nervous system and as a bonus, give you explosive diarrhea. But also some hallucinations. There are much easier, albeit illegal, ways of achieving that. Some folks will try anything though.OK, but you’re not just a frog guy, you’ve also done this exhibition on all sorts of animals fucking. How did that happen?
My boss came up with the idea when he heard some minister going on about how homosexuality was unnatural. He’d done a lot of research in the sexual morphology of fungus gnats and knew that it was a total lie. I did most of the research for this exhibition, which meant sitting in a bunch dusty attics looking at funny pictures. To be honest we were really concerned the Dutch would beat us to it. They have gay zoo tours.How was it received here? Norway is pretty notorious in the rest of Scandinavia as a bastion of Christianity‚Ķ
Norway on whole is pretty secular, but there are some crazy groups, like Pentecostal, shamanistic Christian sects who elect women as "physical brides of Christ" and stuff. But no, we were expecting a flood of anger, but I could count the bad responses on one hand. So, animals are into weird raunchy sex? This whole thing reminds me of Ricky Gervais’s "Animals" skit, where he makes fun of the drawings in some book with a bird on the cover.
Is it this book? [Holds up the book, and flips to a page containing scandalous ape photos]. Ah, the Bonobo. This species is amazing, the horniest bastards in the world, easily. They solve all social problems with sex, there is no fighting for resources or mates—they are true supporters of the "make love, not war" agenda. They have huge sexual orgies starting from an early age, those with the largest network of partners being the highest in society. Sex is their social glue, and fairly homosexual glue at that.
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In some species, like flamingos, yes. Actually though, in most cases male homosexuality in nature is more represented of the "bear" type, with increased masculinity and aggression.Is there a bear community within the bear community?
Interestingly enough, no, there has been no evidence of homosexuality among bears. They are way too antisocial, if they meet other bears—if they do they will fight, or if the female is in heat, fuck.That’s not so exciting.
True. But take the Big Horned Sheep then—these are big, burly rams, right? After mating season, all the females will retreat to the valley and the males form a gentlemen’s club in the hills having lots of anal sex. This is the norm. There are some males who don’t really enjoy anal sex, but they’re in the minority and generally go hang with the girls. But those minority rams are largely asexual, and won’t even mate with the females come sex season.So the ones who don’t like it up the ass are the girly ones. Weird. What about lesbians?
There are reports of female chimps who hang out with the males, and mate with the females. They’re usually pretty butch.
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We just don’t know anything about sexuality, really. It might be genetic, and environmental. We don’t know in humans, so how do we know about animals? The only solid "thing" we have is that if you have lots of older brothers there is an ever so slightly higher chance of being homosexual, for males. And nearly all research into homosexuality has been done on human males, and in Holland. And on rams. Farmers have known about domestic animal homosexuality for millennia, it’s normal. In Australia there have even been attempts stamp out homosexuality in sheep, with a "patch" that’s meant to make them hetero. But it just makes them sick instead. It’s pretty silly really—animal rights and gay rights groups got involved, save the gay sheep, et cetera. I don’t see why we should deny them their natural urges.Religion doesn’t account for homosexuality, that’s a given, but science doesn’t either. Reproduction is meant to be the biological driving force of life, and hence sex. But homosexual behavior isn’t exactly great for reproduction.
When you’re having sex, are you thinking of babies? I find babies deeply un-sexual. They poo and cry. How many times do you have sex in your life? How many times out of that are you trying to have babies? It’s a tiny percentage. Sex isn’t about reproduction, it’s a social thing. Homosexual sex is no different.OK, but as social as gay sex is, the species still needs to survive, right?
That’s the thing with survival. One explanation might be this: For an animal to "reproduce," sex is only the halfway point. The offspring have to survive, and then reproduce in turn. For this to happen, the species needs a stable community. Homosexuality, while not reproductive, may play a stabilizing role in an animal community. Between 20 to 30% of lion prides have two males sharing the head, who have sex with each other. It’s a normal, stabilizing sexual element, and leads to a stronger pride.
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With Bonobo chimps, a strictly heterosexual chimp will fall out of the community, it won’t get enough food, it will have no friends, no social network. Married couples have sex thousands of times—not to have thousands of babies, but to keep the couple together so they can better raise the child. In a lot of these examples though, the homosexuality is periodical, they still mate with the opposite sex.OK, that’s sort of what we were getting at before—it’s an opportunistic thing. Are there any examples of animals who are solely and permanently gay?
There are a good deal of animals who are bound for life, and that includes gay couples too. When forced apart they exhibit grief by doing things like not eating. Particularly in birds, breeding is difficult as once a pair is established you cannot separate them—they’re married. Orange-Fronted Parakeets have a 50% homosexual-pairing rate in captivity. The King Penguin shows 1 in 5 couples being homo. But, for the most part, animals are notoriously unfaithful, they change sexual partners like you and me change underpants.So homosexuality isn’t unnatural. But just because something happens in nature doesn’t mean it’s a-ok. Rape is natural, but that doesn’t make it cool to do if you’re a human. (PS: It isn’t.)
Infanticide as well. It’s a good point, and it’s totally not what we’re saying. Some animals have sex while in their mother’s womb and then eat their way out of her skin. Doesn’t mean we should try it. It’s not an exhibition about ethics, it’s about how homosexuality isn’t "unnatural." It varies in every species. Some aren’t homosexual at all. We just want to show that there is natural variation, and so we shouldn’t be surprised if it occurs in humans—and that it can even be a beneficial social element. In tribal societies, with bones in the noses and stuff, homosexuality is a ritualized thing. They might greet each other by shaking penises instead of hands. In ancient times, it was evidently rife. In "masculine" Sparta, homosexuality in both women and men was common, even pederasty was fine. If society permitted, homosexuality would probably be a norm. Only 3 to 5% of people actually admit to being gay. A lot of humans are asexual. Seriously. A large amount of stupid, ugly and/or socially incompetent people do not have, and will never have, sex.
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"Aristotle thought the entire species was made up of hermaphroditic males, because the females are seriously butch. They have more testosterone than the males, their clitoris is bigger than the male’s penis, and their labia are so big and floppy they look like balls. They are very active with their genitals, lots of female-on-female butt sniffing/munching. The males are the punier sex in every way. The only thing making them female to a traditionalist human eyes is the fact they bear living young."Orangutans
"Male orangutans can suck in their penis so that there’s a cavity and other males can have sex with them. Clever. Orangutan females have also been found to fashion dildos. Most mammals have tiny genitals, comparatively, and generally the males of a give species will have some sort of bone in their penis. Humans are weird in that sense‚Ķ who the hell thought up an inflatable penis?"Boton ‚Äì Amazon River Dolphins
"These guys are pretty inventive. ‚ÄòDon’t have a soft mouth? That’s cool, I’ll stick it in your blow hole. You can’t breath? OK, we’ll do it blow, break, blow, break.’
They are the happiest animals in the world. They are intelligent, social, and have a great sex life irrelevant to breeding seasons. Group sex, too. And with other species! There’s nothing these dudes won’t try."Common Hooded Gulls
"In Hooded Gull colonies, up to 20% of the birds are same sex couples nesting together. Two males will chase the female away and keep the eggs. The same happens with Black Swans in Australia, where it really pays off to be homo. The eggs looked after by male pairs have a 10 times higher survival rate than those tended by hetero breeders. The gay males alternate which one gets to fertilize a female every year so that it’s fair. By pairing up they can keep more territory, which means more food. Being single means death. Animals incapable of homosexual bonding are actually disadvantaged in the wild."
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"Nature’s horn dogs. Bonobos have been caught doing pretty much everything. There is great picture of two young males, one of them hanging upside down, 69ing with the biggest grins on their faces. And females rubbing genitals too, scissor-style. Bonobo can and will bone anyone anyhow anywhere."Walrus
"These guys somehow get each other off by slapping their penises with their flippers. Male walruses are periodically homo. As long as it’s not mating season, it’s orgies offshore."House Mice
"I just have to tell you about this one time I caught a mouse in my house, right, and he was beating off! In my kitchen!" Vice: Are you sure he wasn’t just cleaning himself? "No, he ejaculated!"Blacktail Deer
"This is the drag queen of animal planet. There is a male hormonal condition that causes some to become infertile. When this happens they don’t shed their antlers, which will grow massive and become covered in shiny velvet and get these bumps all over them so that the whole package ends up looking like a crown. They even develop glossier fur and get bigger bigger than normal males. They’re into straight males, and here we see the only example of animal intolerance to homosexuality in the natural world. Straight deer hate the queens, and chase them off."Giraffes
"94% of all sexual action (including gestures like neck-fondling) in giraffe society occurs between males. This is because the females are boring. Female mammals are usually boring, and not as interested in sex. Something about having babies I guess."