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DEAR VICE - PORTUGUESE DOLPHINS OF DEATH

Dear Vice,

Every time I walk on the shore with my dogs in a 3km run between the two piers, located in a still, savage area, I see a dead dolphin somewhere in the way. It has been very clear to me that this happens more and more recently. Every two or three weeks there exists a new dead body on the sand of the seashore. These journeys make me understand that the real reason for dolphins' mass or individual suicides is the degradation of the ocean's water quality caused by man. We can think of dolphin suicides as a pure manifestation against the human race.
SEAGULL
Portugal

Yeah, that seems like a pretty scientifically sound theory, Ursula K Le Queen. The dolphins are committing suicide because pollution makes them sad. Good work with the Nirvana reference though.