Since it's the first day of Spring, here's a jaunty little run-down of the ways in which I've almost died. Maybe while reading it, you can think of the ways in which YOU have almost died, and then we can have sort of a fun psychic interaction together. You know, for Spring.High school deathI was barely allowed to leave the house in high school. If I did go anywhere after school hours, it was because I slipped out my bedroom window and ran for dear life. One such night, a friend and I were walking down the street like a couple of floozies, to go buy some chips and Boones Farm or something. We were walking along, having the grandest of times, when two guys in a brown Duster pull up along side of us as we're waiting for the crosswalk. I look over at the car and hear one of the guys whisper (like in a "I want to eat your toenails" sort of whisper), "Hey, come here."
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