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MENTHOLS DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOUR SCENE

Blaring out of Kalamazoo, Michigan in an extremely robo-upped fashion, Menthols are an anomaly upon the current state of underground sounds. Four low down dudes letting loose some dingy sounds for the sole sake of exercising the demons of loserdom with no intention of joining anyone's phony baloney "scene." Their debut LP, released this summer on the UFO Dictator label, entitled Michigan Works has spun incessantly on my turntable for the latter part of the season and will continue to do so until LIPA threatens to turn off the juice. I tracked the boys down and won them over with my big city charm to talk about crappy sitcom reruns and other small town charms/necessities.

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Vice: You guys just got back from playing the Gonerfest. How was that?
Justin Miller (guitar): Dutch Hercules (guitar/vocals) got propositioned by a gay Memphis dude… "Excuse me sir, but I ain't nothin' but a lil' ole faggot…" Dutch also referred to Gonerfest as "Gothic Woodstock." Really, I don't even remember any bands playing… just fried chicken, fish, and waffles.
Jeff the Snake (drums): Greatest live band ever--GUITAR WOLF! They killed! Oblivians too. It's wild staying up all night for days before bands like that start playing and blow you away.
Justin: Jeff woke up on a mattress in the woods, I got covered in powder and hit in the head with a bottle, Chris was asked by an elderly gentleman to help him with his pants, and pickled pigs' feet were on sale.

What's the deal with the guy in your band who calls himself Dutch Hercules? Doesn't he know Tesco Vee has already claimed that moniker?
Salvation Barney (bass): Actually, when we played with Violent Apathy this summer, Tesco was supposedly going to be there and Dutch was scared he was going to get beat up.

Tesco wouldn't have beaten him up, just presented a cease and desist letter and plundered his pooter for rare Captain Beyond bootlegs. The one thing I dig about your album is it sounds like you guys had a real good time recording it.
Salvation Barney: That's funny you should say that, because it was actually the least fun thing we've ever done. We recorded it ourselves on a four-track reel to reel in my house. It's really hard for me to engineer my own band. We just kept doing takes all winter and mixed them in the spring. Now I hate all those songs and everyone else in the band does too.
Jeff the Snake: I feel that I did the most work on the record, so I'm sure the others had the most fun recording. Somebody has to do the real work.

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The other thing I dig about it is the photo collage on the insert. I think the art of a good photo collage as an insert on a vinyl release is a real lost art these days.
Salvation Barney: Hell yeah! When I was a little one I bought the first Suicidal Tendencies album, and the cover background was all kinds of photos of different homemade Suicidal button up shirts. I was fascinated by it and would study the cover for hours. Afterward, I bought some good records that had cool collages too. I can't think of too many specifics--Discharge, Dicks, Verbal Abuse, Dead Boys live record on Bomp… whatever.

What else do you guys do out there besides play in the band?
Salvation Barney: I have to have a job and I hate it. I just want to sleep in a combustion chamber and swim in 20w50.
Jeff the Snake: Music is just a hobby for me. My real passion is watching Everybody loves Raymond and eating my boogers with Dutch.
Justin: I work and play with mentally impaired adults.

Now that you've got this great LP, what's next on the agenda?
Salvation Barney: Time to make a new band, dude.

What are some records you'd like to turn the rest of the world on to?
Salvation Barney: I know there are some, but I can't for the life of me think what they are. That's why I always hate this question. I have a serious problem with proper nouns. Jim Jones and the Kool Aid Kids are on the stereo as we speak.
Jeff the Snake: Whoridas - "Pull off That Whoride" Necrophagist - Epitaph, anything by the Peoples Temple, The Cranberries - Anything

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Oh yeah, I guess I should ask how you guys formed the band.
Salvation Barney: No one is even interested enough for me to be interested. When there are only six cool people in your town, four of the uncool ones will probably end up in a band together at some time or another.

If you could party with anyone living or dead, who would it be?
Jeff the Snake: Debra from Everybody Loves Raymond
Justin: Orville Redenbacher and Jaque Cousteau
Salvation Barney: Jesus, so I could blackmail him.

[audio: http://viceland-assets-cdn.vice.com/blogs/en/files/2010/10/thats-all-you-got-menthols-01.mp3]
Listen: Menthols - That's All You Got

TONY RETTMAN

You can order the Menthols Michigan Works LP here.