
I sit here clacking away in a café (OK, it’s a bar, and I’m slugging something called The Godfather II, concocted of whiskey and ginger beer). The man next to me is on what is very clearly a first date facilitated by the internet. He is presumably a wannabe member of Toronto’s illustrious media scene, and he is wailing to the near-mute woman across from him about what a travesty it is that the “strippers and hookers” will no longer be able to advertise if C-36 goes through. “I’d be perfectly fine to look at the strippers and hookers if it meant I could a job out of it,” he says, while she titters in response.
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Mothers, Expect To Earn Less While Your Baby Daddy Earns MoreAny person who has borne a child, birthed it, and chooses to care for it will tell you the challenges are very real. You’re going to be sleepless for the next few months while cleaning up a lot of poop and milk-vomit. You’ll be hearing a lot of screaming. You’ll be judged for breastfeeding. You’ll be judged for not breastfeeding. The general populace will provide much unsolicited input on how to raise your new human. (Funny how that seems to be the only instance in which the “it takes a village” adage comes into play anymore.) Aside from that, mums have internal struggles, too. Anne Theriault, creator of feminist site The Belle Jar, writes about the feeling of losing her identity after she gave birth to her child.And now, it’s become clear that, for each child a woman has, her income drops four percent. And if a man has children at home, his income will increase by more than six percent. This is according to a paper by Michelle Budig, a sociology prof at the University of Massachusetts. Hmm, I wonder why this could be? For men, children act as a kind of insurance in the workplace. Being a “family man” signifies that he is trustworthy, dependable, reliable and, dare I say it, maybe even conservative. Mothers, on the other hand, are seen to have their brains entirely dominated by their offspring. As Budig says to the New York Times:
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It’s Not Only Women Who Can Bear Children, So Let’s Start Including Everyone Else When We Speak About Reproductive RightsHi. Some people who don’t identify as women also have uteruses, and can also become pregnant. That means we need to be more inclusive when we discuss birth control, abortion, pregnancy, and other aspects of reproductive health. Nonbinary folk, trans* men, and others are routinely left out of the discussion when it comes to bearing children, and in this time of enlightenment on trans* rights, we’d all do better to be more sensitive.Now, this wonderful little explainer has been published by writer Jack Qu’emi, who is nonbinary. From the article:“The “War on Women” is a war on me, but I’m not a woman… Some trans people have abortions. Some trans people need access to birth control. Some trans people could use the clinic access to get hormone replacement therapy. So why is it that in the five-plus years I’ve been involved in this movement, no one has bothered to even mention people like me?”Qu’emi suggests that we be careful of our use of the word “women” to mean “people with active uteruses” and suggests using gender-neutral language instead. The article also suggests remembering that you can’t label someone just by looking at them, and to make an effort to expressly mention trans* people when discussing reproductive rights. In a world in which Toronto School Board trustee/terrible bigot Sam Sotiropoulos says he “reserves the right” to not believe in trans* people, those of us who recognize the grey spots in the gender spectrum need to ensure we’re always paying attention to the harm careless language can do.
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Violence Against Women Is Not For Your EntertainmentPlease don’t watch the video of Ray Rice knocking out his fiancée in a casino elevator and then dragging her from it, unconscious. Rice’s fame is not an excuse for us to watch a recording of his now-wife’s extreme emotional and physical pain, and we have no right to devour that pain from the safety and comfort of our couch or office chair.Rice was fired by the Ravens and suspended from the NFL this week after TMZ posted the video online. But the abuse happened in February, and at that point, NFL’s response was to suspend him for a mere two games. It took visual evidence for the NFL to do anything about it. (His wife, for the record, doesn’t agree with his punishment).Last week, I wrote about media responsibility when it comes to stolen photos of nude celebrities. This is a very similar situation: media outlets are quick to air the personal lives of public figures, profiting from the pain of “leaked” photos, videos and other information. The Huffington Post, for example, posted the video on Facebook, with the caption “Disgraceful.” It’s also, IMHO, pretty damn disgraceful for them, or anyone else, to spread the footage.People are posting this video without Janay’s consent. This should be a trigger for us to discuss violence against women, to research, to take note of stats, and to get off our asses and be activists about it. Not to pick Janay apart or criticize her choices. Violence against women is not entertainment, and Janay herself issued a statement on the video and the vulture-like nature of media in handling the case:
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