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Micki Pellerano : It's four large-scale graphite drawings dealing with a kind of poetry, two smaller images I call "Blonde Nails," and two other drawings I did from a series called Separation, which are all nudes suspended in voids enduring states of alchemical release. I started recently, when a friend of mine read me an Emerson poem called "Threnody." I was completely blown away—it had a major impact on my process for this show. After I heard it for the first time, something shattered in my brain, and I just sat on my bed and wept. It's the most beautiful thing, all about cosmic potential.
I've been getting closer to it my whole life. I've studied the occult for a long time, not just because I like the books, but because it lends itself to personal experience and psychic evolution. It changes you. You think differently and see things differently and communicate with other realms of existence. There's no difference between art and magic. And that's why I'm interested in the concept of celestial love. For me, it's a shattering state where ecstasy and suffering are indistinguishable from each other.What are you trying to do with this show?
It's about suffering and finding ways to prolong suffering. Suffering can be a great thing, and you can channel the energy. There's an amazing quote from Dostoevsky where he says, "Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence and a deep heart." Trying to escape suffering is crazy—it's a part of being alive. If you make a choice and attempt to master pain in such a way that it no longer has the power to paralyze you, then you can accept it and embrace it and channel it. That's what alchemy really is. I'm exploring alchemy in my drawings and in my spiritual studies, and I'd be a shitty alchemist if I didn't know how to transform pain and make it work for me.
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When I sit down to work, it's all about giving form to the grandiose ideas in my head. One of my favorite quotes is from Arthur Machen, a member of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn in the late 1800s and early 1900s. He says, "I dream in fire, but I work in clay." I have these massive inspirations, and then I'm forced to take my clumsy hands and give some sort of form to a formless idea.Do you work without any other stimuli around? I read this thing once about how Basquiat worked with open magazines and the television on and whatnot.
I'm always looking at a bunch of things all at once. It's a total mess. Books open everywhere. I've got music blaring. I like audiobooks. Just stuff everywhere.Do you have any routines or rituals that you come back to?
I'm a meditator. I meditate in the morning before I start working. I do three types of meditation: Pranayama, which is a breath-control meditation, then a mantra meditation, and then at night I do something called scrying, which is staring at an object.
Baths. I love baths. And I listen to music in the bath. Lately it's been Alice Coltrane and Philip Glass. I use lots of epsom salts, and Japanese mint oil.How do you interpret the art world's relationship with the occult?
I think our culture in general has this relationship to occultism where they find it fashionable and interesting, and yet they shy away from phenomena that are truly of an occult nature. They enjoy its mystery and imagery but are hesitant about genuine experience. In my work I try to make that relatable. To me, there are two main strands in the art world right now: The first is social or political commentary. This is ineffective if the artist's political notions are predictable and already shared by his colleagues and his audience. The other theme is popular culture. Artists are mocking pop culture while simultaneously drawing their inspiration from it, which I think this is an inverted dynamic. Historically, the art world has influenced pop culture by trickling down into it. Now it's the opposite, and I find that dangerous, and toxic to our culture.Do you ever feel like you're boiled down into an occult artist, as if the term were a marketing tool?
My occultism has become more like my sexuality: It's simply an aspect of my being that touches everything I do, but doesn't predominate. It's like, I'm gay, sure. But really, who gives a shit?