Last Saturday was International Pillow Fight day, which is obviously fucking bullshit. I don't want to come off as a cynical killjoy here, but all these new "international days" springing up around the world – unless they're for peace or unity, or whatever – are completely pointless. They fall under the same territory as flash-mobs and improv theatre – two things widely regarded to be the scourge of modern humanity and something we could definitely all do without.
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I think you'd take time out for the people you love, or perhaps tell them something you'd wanted to tell them for a while. It would be different from Valentine's Day, though. Valentine's is just getting old and boring, it needs to be reinvented.

Well, we'd all probably all eat a lot of food, for a start. Maybe everybody would have street fairs all over the world and they would have lovely local food as well as all of the things they love cooking and eating.Don't you think international days are kind of ridiculous? Like Valentine's Day, for example?
Valentine's is OK. I mean, my wife and I don’t really do Valentines day. We probably do something romantic, but it's not like we go out and buy mushy cards and stuff like that. Plus, every day is Valentine's Day if you're in love.Well isn't that sweet.

You could stand on the street and have certain cuddly looking people giving out free hugs to cheer everybody up on really busy, stressful days.
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Yeah, but within reason, I guess. I mean, if someone looks like they don’t want one, it may look like assault if they get bombarded by unwanted cuddles.That sounds awful.

Well, the first thing they'd do is cook for us. That would certainly be a nice change, instead of us always doing it.And a present?
Well no, because that would come out of our account, wouldn’t it?Ah yes. True.

Exactly. Everyone would have to bite their tongue if they wanted to say something mean or nasty and no one would be allowed to start a fight. Just smiles, laughter and politeness all day long.Previously - Are You Glad That Margaret Thatcher Is Dead?