Considering this issue mostly concerns morality and ethics, it seemed like an opportune time to take a look inward and see exactly where VICE stands when it comes to issues of right and wrong.










So we asked Jesse Graham, assistant professor of psychology at USC and co-creator of the Moral Foundations Questionnaire (yourmorals.org), to create an accurate test that, country by country, would help us determine our collective conscience by analyzing a sampling of 11 members of VICE’s international editorial team.
Turns out, on average, we’re a pretty swell bunch when it comes to caring for individuals and being fair. What we’re not fond of is hierarchies, obeying authority, or maintaining bodily and spiritual “purity,” but who is these days?
Of course, the results also detailed each editor’s moral pitfalls and other shortcomings. We graphed their results, designated a random interviewer who was not involved with the test, and asked the most extreme cases to explain their deviance. Then we emailed everyone to guess which country ranked as the most despicable of all.
VICE: You two scored the lowest in the purity category. What’s the most impure thing you’ve done lately?
Rocco Castoro: I killed a cockroach by lighting it on fire. Jan van Tienen: I carried a dead hare across a field by its hind legs, which were covered in its own urine. The hunter who shot it had just pushed the urine out of the bladder with his fist. (It keeps the flesh from tasting foul.) My fingers smell like hare pee now. Hey, Raf. Guess what, buddy? You scored a 1.17 out of 5 for in-group loyalty. Why are you such a treacherous snake when it comes to your family, friends, and country? Don’t you like Canada?
Raf Katigbak: Maybe it’s because our flag is kind of gay, or that our national anthem is an uninspiring yawnfest, but blind devotion just isn’t our deal. Canada is lame because, unlike America, we don’t have this thing called “nationalism,” where everyone stands around pledging allegiances to flags, getting into a tizzy because something is “unconstitutional” or “un-American,” and indiscriminately supporting invasions of Middle Eastern countries. Canadianness is really just talking shit about America, bragging about free health care (which actually kind of sucks), drinking beers, and secretly being jealous about how the US is warmer and more fun. However, if you fuck with our hockey teams we will completely freak out and by the end of it we’ll be drunk, naked, bloody, and peeing off the roof of a burning cop car. Royce, you scored the lowest for fairness, meaning you are a selfish and unjust tyrant who doesn’t care about anyone else but yourself.
Royce Akers: I’d say that’s fair. Which VICE bureau do you think is the most immoral?
Julien Morel: Hmm, maybe the UK. We’ve been at war with them for five centuries, and they updated our common religion just to piss us off. That’s immoral enough for me. Royce Akers: Definitely Sweden. I definitely have the most immoral thoughts about Swedish people. Barbara Dabrowska: Russia, because the stereotype propagated by the media and movies is that there’s a huge gap between the rich and poor, and that every rich Russian got that way by being a criminal who doesn’t give a shit about human lives, women’s rights, or the environment. That said, I think the fact that I’ve never been to Russia probably contributes to this preconception. Bruno Bayley: This isn’t personal, but maybe Italy. Italians are pretty into corruption, but then again they are mostly Catholics. Maybe that instills some deep-seated morality in them? Probably not. Raf Katigbak: I’d have to say Russia. That place is the Federal Republic of We Don’t Give a Fuck. Rocco Castoro: France, hands down. The people running the place—and for that matter running the IMF up until recently—seem to have no problem publicly cheating on their spouses. Also, I’ve never known a French person to ever admit any wrongdoing. This attitude informs their pathetic extradition and labor laws, which makes the country a magnet for unethical creeps with no responsibility. Toni Querol: Tough call. Russia, maybe because there’s that scene in Crime and Punishment where they beat a horse to death? Or Sweden, because when Swedish chicks come visit Spain they only hook up with Latin skaters? Or maybe Canada, because they never officially apologized for Bryan Adams? Milène Larsson: It’s a draw between Russia and the US. What’s worse? A country that minds its own business like Russia, or one that sticks its nose into everyone else’s business and fucks it up like the US?
Rocco Castoro: I killed a cockroach by lighting it on fire. Jan van Tienen: I carried a dead hare across a field by its hind legs, which were covered in its own urine. The hunter who shot it had just pushed the urine out of the bladder with his fist. (It keeps the flesh from tasting foul.) My fingers smell like hare pee now. Hey, Raf. Guess what, buddy? You scored a 1.17 out of 5 for in-group loyalty. Why are you such a treacherous snake when it comes to your family, friends, and country? Don’t you like Canada?
Raf Katigbak: Maybe it’s because our flag is kind of gay, or that our national anthem is an uninspiring yawnfest, but blind devotion just isn’t our deal. Canada is lame because, unlike America, we don’t have this thing called “nationalism,” where everyone stands around pledging allegiances to flags, getting into a tizzy because something is “unconstitutional” or “un-American,” and indiscriminately supporting invasions of Middle Eastern countries. Canadianness is really just talking shit about America, bragging about free health care (which actually kind of sucks), drinking beers, and secretly being jealous about how the US is warmer and more fun. However, if you fuck with our hockey teams we will completely freak out and by the end of it we’ll be drunk, naked, bloody, and peeing off the roof of a burning cop car. Royce, you scored the lowest for fairness, meaning you are a selfish and unjust tyrant who doesn’t care about anyone else but yourself.
Royce Akers: I’d say that’s fair. Which VICE bureau do you think is the most immoral?
Julien Morel: Hmm, maybe the UK. We’ve been at war with them for five centuries, and they updated our common religion just to piss us off. That’s immoral enough for me. Royce Akers: Definitely Sweden. I definitely have the most immoral thoughts about Swedish people. Barbara Dabrowska: Russia, because the stereotype propagated by the media and movies is that there’s a huge gap between the rich and poor, and that every rich Russian got that way by being a criminal who doesn’t give a shit about human lives, women’s rights, or the environment. That said, I think the fact that I’ve never been to Russia probably contributes to this preconception. Bruno Bayley: This isn’t personal, but maybe Italy. Italians are pretty into corruption, but then again they are mostly Catholics. Maybe that instills some deep-seated morality in them? Probably not. Raf Katigbak: I’d have to say Russia. That place is the Federal Republic of We Don’t Give a Fuck. Rocco Castoro: France, hands down. The people running the place—and for that matter running the IMF up until recently—seem to have no problem publicly cheating on their spouses. Also, I’ve never known a French person to ever admit any wrongdoing. This attitude informs their pathetic extradition and labor laws, which makes the country a magnet for unethical creeps with no responsibility. Toni Querol: Tough call. Russia, maybe because there’s that scene in Crime and Punishment where they beat a horse to death? Or Sweden, because when Swedish chicks come visit Spain they only hook up with Latin skaters? Or maybe Canada, because they never officially apologized for Bryan Adams? Milène Larsson: It’s a draw between Russia and the US. What’s worse? A country that minds its own business like Russia, or one that sticks its nose into everyone else’s business and fucks it up like the US?
