Drake Once Again Has the Birthday That a Rich Teenage Boy Would Have

Drizzy had a gaudy ass 2000s-themed party and loved every minute of it.
Queens, US
Photo by Viven Killilea / Getty Images for the h.wood group

Drake seems to throw a pretty good party, but, honestly, he's really rich and famous, so people would probably show up to his birthday even if he didn't. When he turned 30 no one understood the dress code but they showed up anyway because… Drake. In the years since Drizzy has seemingly become obsessed with dethroning Diddy as hip-hop's best host. Last year, he threw himself a "re-bar mitzvah" (Not to be confused with the ceremony he had in 2011 for the "HYFR" video ) which is sort of valid since the inverse of 31 is 13. But this year, October's Very Own went all out in a 2000s-themed extravaganza that included a Blockbuster bar, a Motorola pager cake, and multiple outfit changes simply because Drake can do that.


Jerseys are back, baby. When the world stopped thinking we were going to die after Y2K, it was a good excuse to pull out the throwback sports memorabilia. Here's Drake in a retro Kobe jersey, one of two outfits he'd wear that night. God bless bandanas. A simpler time. Wait a minute… that fit looks familiar. Fab was certainly the king of throwbacks, but dressing up as Fabolous in 2018 feels like a misstep (not to mention that wearing a Kobe jersey is kinda fraught too). Drizzy, we take it you don't watch the news?

Could you have ever imagined we'd see the Toronto rapper in a full velour Sean John suit? Maybe there's still hope for a Push and Drizzy reunion. Diddy did punch Drake. All Push did was say "YOU ARE HIDING A CHILD." That's not so bad right? …Nevermind. Bonus points here for the sweatband, but that's expected when your other ensemble included a bandana and a fitted.

Damn, look at these airbrushed shirts. Noisey sang you happy birthday. Don't we deserve one in every size?

All in all, this party was incredibly on-brand for Drake, but there were some missteps. The guy raffled out Chanel bags, and although they are timeless, we can all agree that the multicolored monogram Louis Vuitton bag is a bit more 2000s. Drake was so committed to his looks that he sported some calf cleavage, but LL Cool J did that well before the new millennium. This afforded Drake the opportunity to actually be cool because much of his time in the 2000s was spent at Degrassi Community School. While it may have well executed, the millennium was gaudy as hell and even Drake doesn't have enough juice to smooth that out. I would still be adorned in a rhinestone crop top and ill-fitting jeans if he invited me because when Drake calls, you answer.

Kristin Corry is a staff writer for Noisey. Follow her on Twitter.