It’s 2017 and Sydney Just Named a Boat ‘Ferry McFerryface’

Here in Australia, we’re slow on the uptake when it comes to global trends. We’re still tossing up whether or not to legalise gay marriage, we only just got our own version of Bachelor in Paradise, and a lot of people are still rocking skinny jeans. We’re also hopelessly behind when it comes to internet humour, as epitomised by the fact Sydney’s Minister for Infrastructure and Transport Andrew Constance has just announced that “Ferry McFerryface” will be the name of the city’s new ferry, following a 2015-style online poll. Yet more proof that some decisions—the christening of sea vessels, the election of US presidents—shouldn’t be left with the people.

Even more depressingly, the actual ferry name that topped the poll was “Boaty McBoatface”, which is literally the winner of the original British competition that kickstarted this awful not-particularly-funny-in-the-first-place meme back in the day. God forbid anyone in this vast cultural/literal desert island of a country make an original gag. The Sydney department of transport had to come up with “Ferry McFerryface” on its own because the worst joke was already taken.

"Given Boaty was already taken by another vessel, we've gone with the next most popular name nominated by Sydneysiders," Constance said.

"Ferry McFerryface will be the harbour's newest icon, and I hope it brings a smile to the faces of visitors and locals alike.”

Just imagine: the majestic Ferry McFerryface, circling endlessly around Sydney Harbour. Never forging a path of its own; never deviating from the rules set out by the ferries that came before it. Never thinking for itself, never taking a chance on change or progress. What’s more Australian than that? Maybe the name kinda fits after all.

Probably worth noting that the Brits actually decided against naming their vessel Boaty McBoatface, choosing instead to have a nice little laugh about it all before, obviously, going with another more dignified title (RRS Sir David Attenborough). To appease Reddit, they allowed one of the Attenborough’s on-board submarines to be called Boaty instead. A nice compromise.

Oh—also seems worth mentioning that a Melbourne council recently declined to name a train station “Station McStationface”. I’m not one to fuel the capital city rivalry, but make of this information what you will.

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