Indonesians Demand John Cena for Jakarta Governor Because, Why Not?

Tomorrow millions of people will cast their votes in Jakarta’s contentious gubernatorial election. It’s an election that has, in many ways, brought out the worst in us. The campaign season was full of fake news, angry protests, counter-protests, and a whole bunch of venom on social media. 

But what if there was someone outside the system Jakartans could vote for instead? Someone who has become something of an icon of multiculturalism and tolerance? Someone who has a killer body slam? Someone like John Cena. 

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A Facebook page promoting Cena for Jakarta governor has been slowly gaining steam over the last year. The muscle-bound WWE wrestler is both loved and hated in the US for his “good guy” image and commitment to philanthropic organizations like the Make A Wish Foundation. 

He quickly rose to the top of a poll conducted by Kompas.com last September that had him edge out both Basuki Tjahaja Purnama and Harambe—although beating a dead gorilla in an open election shouldn’t be all that hard. 

So what makes him a good candidate to helm the Indonesian capital? Well, millennial Indonesian grew up watching professional wrestling—sometimes to tragic ends. But it also has to do Cena’s image as a squeaky clean guy during an election marred by mudslinging.

Or maybe it’s just Cena’s winning record. He recently tied Ric Flair’s record of 16 world championships. Anyone who can rise to the level of “The Nature Boy,” deserves a high level of respect. 

“Our candidate Mr. Cena once used the slogan: ‘RISE ABOVE HATE’” the page wrote. “It means no matter how many times we are reproached, we won’t care and we’ll keep rising to prove our worth, prove that we as a whole can win this election.”

But, Cena, as an American citizen and a man who, as far as we know, has never even stepped foot in Jakarta, isn’t eligible to run. But that hasn’t stopped his fans from (jokingly?) demanding his inclusion in the Jakarta election. 

“The volunteers of #CenaForJakarta condemn the gubernatorial debate and its organizers, for they have acted upon unfairly towards our candidate, Mr. Cena,” the Facebook page wrote. “On the two occasions of the last debate, he has taken time to attend but was not given questions or be involved at all in the process. This action harms democracy and mostly our feelings, his supporters.”

So what could we expect from a Cena-run administration? Would he give corrupt public officials an “attitude adjustment“? Will he outlaw white rice (clean carbs only bro)? Will Wrestlemania become a national holiday? Sadly, we’ll never know.