Good God, y’all. It’s colder than a polar bear’s toenail out there in Minnesota—to the point that tailgaiters were heating up their beers by the fire, just to keep them from freezing. Just how cold is it? Hoo buddy, well let me tell you!

It is so cold, that beer freezes as it hits the air. So cold, that it’s making beer slushies out of that mess.

It’s so cold, that the press box looks like the set of a high school rendition of A Christmas Carol:

It’s sooooo cold, that home field advantage has been rendered obsolete.

It’s so cold that even Seattle Seahawks punter Jon Ryan’s nosebleed froze to his face.

It’s soooo cold, that batteries won’t work unless they have their own fire fan.

It’s so cold that ESPN’s Cris Carter claims that the temperatures can take a couple inches off of your height.

It’s so cold, that the G-D Gjallarhorn snapped into pieces.

It’s so cold that… Well, actually it’s quantifiable:

Yes, it’s that cold, and yet you have fools out there pulling this kind of shenaniganery:

It really actually makes you wonder just how humans ever deemed a place like that habitable. No wonder the vikings of lore looked like this: