In those halcyon days before the internet, if you wanted bigger breasts, you took part in those time-honored traditions of filling your bra cups with Kleenex, shoplifting a pair of those silicone inserts from Victoria’s Secret, or standing in front of the mirror repeating “I must, I must, I must increase my bust” while doing a variety of ineffective arm movements.
But now that social media exists, pretty much anyone can share their most bonkers ideas about how to go up a bra size or two. Last August, some of the world’s dumbest women started squeezing toothpaste onto their breasts because a YouTuber named “NaturalBeauty556” said that she’d “tightened [her] sagging breasts in just five days” with a combination of toothpaste, flour, egg whites, and grated cucumber. (Spoiler Alert: It didn’t do a damn thing, except ensure that her areolas won’t get gingivitis).
And earlier this week, the manufacturer of a coconut milk drink was criticized for running both print ads and television commercials suggesting that drinking its beverage can cause changes in breast size. According to the South China Morning Post, the advertisements for Coconut Palm-brand drinks used slogans like “Drink one can every day, [your] curves will excite people, whiter and more plump” and “I drank from small to big” and “Drinking more coconut milk every day can make [your] breasts fuller.” (Coconut Palm isn’t known for its subtlety.)
Unlike that toothpaste-and-flour thing, social media users were suspicious of those claims. People on Weibo, a Twitter-like service in China, started to question the slogans and the necessity to use T&A to advertise a canned coconut drink. “When I first saw the advert, I thought some netizen had just Photoshopped it. It’s only now that I realised it was actually true and not someone joking around,” one person wrote.
After a few days of online debate and ridicule, Coconut Palm started to second-guess its own methods. Xu Dongdong, a Coconut Palm spokesperson, admitted that the beverage does not actually have any magical breast-enlargement powers. In a follow-up, the South China Morning Post reports that the company’s physical ads were taken down, and the company has swapped its “from small to big” slogan for a “message of female empowerment.”
The newest ads now show four smiling women of various ages, each holding a can of Coconut Palm and each explaining that they drink a can every day. Nobody’s breast size is mentioned. It seemed a bit disingenuous to go from ads that basically basically said “DRINK THIS FOR BIG TITS” to pretending to be respectful and reserved toward women, and Weibo users weren’t convinced that anyone would forget about that first set of slogans, either.
“They just can’t give up ‘I drink from small to big,’” one person commented.