It's Friday, January 25, and Ketchup "Caviar" Exists Now

Plus, ways to both extend and shorten your lifespan, depending on your mood.
January 25, 2019, 4:45pm
ketchup caviar jars
courtesy of Heinz Ketchup 

Welcome to Off-Menu, where we'll be rounding up all the food news and food-adjacent internet ephemera that delighted, fascinated, or infuriated us this morning.


Not News

The Japanese news outlet Sora News 24 invites you to "Grab a chocolate chili mustard hotdog at Salon du Chocolat this month!" I absolutely will not, and you cannot make me!!!

Something Nice

I don't understand this video at all but I know that I am a "Not Bones." Tag yourself.

Buy This Baguette

baguette wrist pad


Every part of my working posture is actively injuring my soon-to-be-aged-beyond-my-years body but I would gladly maintain proper wrist alignment with this doughy doodad. Hat tip to Philadelphia reporter Anna Orso for bringing it to my attention.